Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Do you speak British?


This is a snippet of an article I read in the Times a few months ago.
I found it so funny I took a picture of it and am now sharing with you especially in the light of my previous post about hipster baristas and Heidi's post about tea on Adelaide Villa.


It's funny because it's true.
 

My personal favourite is "Sorry" which means many more things that stated here but the editor must have had to limit the various possible interpretations.

But the Times isn't always so astute.
Following this article was a "Style" advice column.

 
 
They pretended like they could explain "casual chic" without any pictures at all and in a paragraph and somehow squeezing in Asos.  Then another clueless reader was looking for a pair of smart everyday loafers for a budget of £300.  They answered once again with no pictures.
I think Rupert could afford to give the journos either a raise or raise the budget to include some pictures already?

Posted by at

53 comments:

  1. Dawna6 January 2015 at 21:20

    So funny!!.. and alot of truth to it
    The.. "Two sugars please.." - i'm a manual labourer, really made me laugh

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    1. Coulda shoulda woulda6 January 2015 at 21:47

      Mind you I used to take two sugars! It's funny bc I now take one but most of my builders have stopped with sugar!

      Delete
  2. cilosophy6 January 2015 at 21:21

    So true. Politeness hides a lots of things.
    Style advice must include pics.
    Don't even get me started on Rupert.

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    1. Coulda shoulda woulda6 January 2015 at 21:48

      Politeness is a social cushion that at time requires a lot of interpretation...I can't wait for a HBO miniseries on Rupert!

      Delete
  3. Heidi6 January 2015 at 21:55

    I'm having a problem with the images loading, only the second one is coming up… but laughed at it, as it's so true. There's a twitter account called Very British Problems that this kind of reminds me of that Here's a telegraph summary of some of their tweets that made me laugh http://www.telegraph.co.uk/expat/expatpicturegalleries/10793723/Ten-very-British-problems.html?frame=2894977
    Any clothes advice requires photos. We have a column like that in The Australian newspaper, and I always wonder what the point is - style is very much a regional thing in Australia, and they tend to give advice as if everyone is a Jet setting Sydney-sider who is extremely cashed up. I tend to think the questions are all made up so the responder can instead show off about what they'd wear in that exact situation.

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    1. Coulda shoulda woulda6 January 2015 at 22:06

      I have pinned the images FYI. Sorry bout that but can't figure how to rectify! Yes very British problems are so funny. I think the columns are just a waste of space and doesn't even do a good job at selling stuff. And I do wonder why the times lets this past the edit!

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    2. Heidi6 January 2015 at 22:48

      Now they're showing up - not sure what was going wrong?! But laughed a lot at the Tea ones in the first column…

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  4. About Last Weekend6 January 2015 at 21:59

    Sorry sorry, that is so good esp the rich gits who went to Eton.
    Yes need photos, maybe with the person writing in, put a team onto it and make it into double page spread...but no one listens to me...slinks away...

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  5. GSL6 January 2015 at 22:23

    .Den whipping Boy Hugh Grant could give a perfect demonstration of these.

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    1. Coulda shoulda woulda6 January 2015 at 22:30

      He does a cracking sorry!

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    2. GSL6 January 2015 at 22:35

      He's the best there is at beta male mealy-mouthed self-deprecation...just love his hair...

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    3. Si Je Veux7 January 2015 at 07:14

      I see your HughGrant, and raise you a Leonard Rossiter!

      Elucidate with a small portion of 'The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin', to see the master, nay the creator, of 'Sorry' at work.

      Delete
    4. GSL7 January 2015 at 12:56

      He is good! Thanks Curator!!

      Delete
  6. WendyMcLeodMacKnight6 January 2015 at 22:53

    love it!

    sorry....

    In Canada we are unfailingly polite as well. Just add eh and you are good to go here. Although if truth be told, we ignore the old new money thing altogether except in very restricted circumstances...

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  7. Unknown6 January 2015 at 23:03

    I'm so relieved didn't go for the sugar in my tea on our last visit to London! Hahahaha! This is fantastic...gave me a good chuckle today. Thanks for mentioning the spam thing on my blog. I will continue to check. I went in and was able to add your comment in today. Yay! "sorry" about the WP thing. Hopefully we'll get it figured out!
    xx, Heather

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  8. Connie7 January 2015 at 01:02

    Politeness vortex. That is so funny. Americans are so different. Around here we get often get caught in a TMI (too much information) vortex. Loved this post.

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    1. Coulda shoulda woulda7 January 2015 at 19:56

      I laughed out loud at that too! In japan it's even more pilot and you could now for days!

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  9. Blue Booby7 January 2015 at 02:19

    Are they really that uptight?! The few I have met in my travels seemed like a lot of fun...of course they were fond of a drink but I do not judge. No coffee. No tea. What am I? Remember, be polite.

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    1. Si Je Veux7 January 2015 at 07:02

      Uptight? Oh yes...this is the country that elevated queueing to an art form!

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    2. Coulda shoulda woulda7 January 2015 at 19:57

      Yes very uptight and I only notice it when I come back from holiday!

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  10. Si Je Veux7 January 2015 at 06:57

    Ha, it's like reading the script of an Ealing comedy!
    Kind Hearts and Coronets to be precise.

    Who in their right mind would write to The Times for style advise.
    Whiffs of complete journo fabrication.

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    1. Coulda shoulda woulda7 January 2015 at 19:58

      Yes it is rude selling!

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    2. GSL7 January 2015 at 21:21

      ...might have been 'Disgusted in Tunbridge Wells' Curator

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    3. Coulda shoulda woulda7 January 2015 at 21:33

      Disgusted in tun bridge wells is considered trolling in them parts.

      Delete
  11. Anonymous7 January 2015 at 08:37

    I love these nuances between US/UK culture - we are always mere moments from a snotty derisive sneer!

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    1. GSL7 January 2015 at 11:43

      ...my derisive sneers re Hugh Grant have far more menace than 'snotty' could ever hope to attain.

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    2. Coulda shoulda woulda7 January 2015 at 19:59

      Yes it can go downhill pretty quickly can't it hence the drink is needed so alcohol can be blamed...

      Delete
  12. wellfedfred7 January 2015 at 13:53

    Thank you for these, a smile after a gray day here!

    The Very British Problems man has published a book, which is a delight.
    Another favorite (favourite?): Watching the English.

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    1. Coulda shoulda woulda7 January 2015 at 19:59

      I love British problems. It sounds so silly when written down but so serious in ones head!

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    2. GSL7 January 2015 at 21:19

      ...unless it's a Panzer Division

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  13. DaniBP7 January 2015 at 18:32

    Sooo funny Naomi, loved this. Sorry... sorry, here some people also say Sorry instead of Pardon Me, literally when they haven't heard something... just to throw another Sorry into the mess!

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    1. Coulda shoulda woulda7 January 2015 at 20:00

      Sorry can mean about ten different things ranging from it's my fault to it's your fault!

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    2. Anonymous8 January 2015 at 13:03

      Love all the sorries - hilarious and so true!
      "Pardon me" when you haven't heard someone properly seems to be received v differently in different countries. Mostly in Oz it's considered a bit off - and in certain bogan audiences can elicit the response "why, what did you do?"
      In some Oz professional circles, the preferred expression is "Say again". Sometimes with a hand behind the ear. Understand the correct U speak may be "What?" Pammie

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    3. Coulda shoulda woulda8 January 2015 at 16:18

      Pardon me sounds so over dramatic and yet what sounds so harsh. I only use what with close friends and family and even then in an off tone it can sound so rude. But I also adore the different sorry meanings and makes me laugh every time!

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    4. Anonymous8 January 2015 at 23:38

      Agree about "what" - only old school U people could get away with it. In a work environment, at small meetings etc "say again" works very well as it makes a point without disrupting discussion flow or suggesting fault on either side, eg that the original speaker has been talking too quietly or indistinctly - or that the listener is hard of hearing. Pammie.

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  14. Jen Lawrence7 January 2015 at 20:56

    I love those expressions! Witty passive-aggressiveness is an art!

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    1. GSL7 January 2015 at 21:15

      ...the Snark Arts Jen

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    2. Coulda shoulda woulda7 January 2015 at 21:34

      Sorry? It's like when the Japanese say yes. It means yes maybe or no

      Delete
  15. Unknown7 January 2015 at 20:57

    This is very funny - the no no after you is a classic one i'm guilty of whether walking or gesturing the same thing whilst in the car. I just want to hurry up and get to my damn destination but something always tells me to be polite and remember my "manners"! xx

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  16. kim at northerncalstyle.8 January 2015 at 20:16

    This is too funny. We women say sorry was too much and there have been some movements recently in U.S. to stop that, as it supposedly makes us less empowered. I do find the British use of sorry charming and another reason I love a country that isn't so cocky, you know? Funny your observations Naomi. Perhaps you could have been a social anthropologist! You notice all these little quirks of humankind and I love it! x Kim

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  17. Ordinette9 January 2015 at 09:09

    The right post to begin the new year with! So funny! Have a great 2015!
    laura

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  18. Share my Garden9 January 2015 at 10:27

    Love this posting. And, yes, I speak British! I'm very good at, 'excuse me' or 'EXCUSE ME!' and similar expressions, the meaning being made clear by my tone of voice. I'm the woman driven mad by rudeness who says, 'thank you' in a loud ironic way to anyone who brushes past me as I open a door.

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  19. Jane and Lance Hattatt9 January 2015 at 18:17

    Hello,

    Oh dear, so sorry that we are late to the post. We must, of course, always take our turn and the queue was interminable.

    This is such fun and, sadly, apposite. One thing that we have certainly learned whilst being in Budapest is that one will never beat a Hungarian onto public transport no matter how hard you try or how long you wait! Queuing, the British national pastime is entirely irrelevant here behind the Net Curtain as we fondly refer to our adopted country.

    However, although we 'speak British' like natives, we cannot fathom the rights of 'casual chic'. What are body-con mid-rise jeans? Are we out of touch we ask ourselves?

    Whatever, we wish you all joy and success for 2015. Thank you for the kind messages which you left for us.

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  20. Anonymous10 January 2015 at 04:11

    Dear Jane and Lance
    So good to see you back. Love Budapest but so funny about Hungarians always getting onto public transport first. A friend whose grandparents came from another member country of the old Austro-Hungarian Empire told us there's a saying that a Hungarian is someone who goes into a revolving door behind you but always comes out ahead.
    My lovely DIL comes from a Hungarian family though - and she and her family are unfailingly very polite and kind as were the people we met while visiting Budapest and other parts of the country. When we were in Gyor we entered a beautiful old church only to find a service in progress - so we stood quietly at the back and during the Greeting of Peace, two old men in the back row came back to us and took our hands to include us in the greeting. We were very touched. Best wishes, Pammie

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  21. Anonymous11 January 2015 at 07:56

    Oh dear, too funny, especially as I was talking about a tipple in one's tea only just this morning. I do not tipple, as a rule. And Rupert, dear, could afford to pay the journalists more, throw in some pictures, and pay for the clothes and loafers for those seeking advice.

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  22. Woodside Park12 January 2015 at 18:01

    Oh my gosh, hilarious!!! Thanks for breaking it down! Now I know ;-) And I'll be listening...watching carefully when we visit in March! xoxo

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  23. thegentlemanfarmer12 January 2015 at 18:03

    Dear Naomi
    That is absolutely classic and I keep thinking how many of these little sayings and meanings ended up in my side of the world. One caveat, where I am from if someone tells you look "nice", well, that is a bad day for you...

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  24. Alexandra Petersen13 January 2015 at 21:25

    I sometimes finding myself saying 'sorry' when other people walk past me in a corridor (even a wide one). It is an addiction, marginally better than saying 'like' after every other word.....I am currently retraining kids with a slap around the ear everytime they say it!!!

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  25. cilosophy14 January 2015 at 08:04

    My dear, I have gone off facebook for a bit, in the interests of finishing the PhD (and also because I think I have a ..problem...with social media...). I would love to stay in contact though as I am likely heading to europe in june time. Do you think you could pop your email address in as a comment on my blog, it will be deleted and not published. :D

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