I can't help but want to share something if
I find it very - insert relevant adjective - here.
I was shifting through my books to keep or put in the charity pile while trying to sort out my life house.
I love how anything in Britain can be turned into a social algorithm.
Gardens are no exception.
I wish I had a garden now so I could tick and compare notes for a laugh but having no garden I am a gardener non grata...
I must be as usual a split personality as I love all 20 features.
Remember a few posts back where it demonstrated what one says is not what one means? You may think you speak English but alas one needs subtitles in this country to extract the true meaning.
Bobby Charlton for those who won't know was a football legend. Not rugby but soccer which is not really yew even though your posh child may be a Liverpool fan.
As I am not a gardener I will admit some of these references passed me by so sharing for those in the know.
Please explain?
Meanwhile here are some gardens to visit in person to hone your horticultural knowledge.
If you want to start a proper collection besides this humorous book then here's your shopping list.
Is Gertrude Jekyll like the Elsie de Wolfe of gardening?
She says things that sound like common sense but what do I know?
Oy - I heard that.
The gnome issue was squashed and they were given human rights last year at the Chelsea flower show although it did take HRH Prince Hazza to introduce the two parties.
Rumour has it that it went down like this,
"Gnome, this is Chelsea flower show.
Don't worry my bodyguards are here for your safety not mine.
These gardeners have respect for me."
One plant I do have is a rose so better get cracking to see if
I have the correct rose!
I have the correct rose!
Have a great weekend! x
I am well acquainted with Gertrude, though much of this is very englandCentric and so I don't know the terms. I do love a good yew and think I am a mixture of both, but I tend to let the garden have legs, sometimes to disastrous results! My favourite gardening books are by Beverly ?Nichols - he was brilliant! And here in North America my heart belongs to barbara damrosch and her husband Elliot. Gardens are often class warfare I'm afraid, though I believe that we'd all benefit from a pot of geraniums on the stoop! How pedestrian of me....
ReplyDeleteI have two rose bushes a bush snd herbs. My neighbours plants flowers for me as I am of the laissez faire school. I am impressed by any garden truth be told.
DeleteVery funny! I despise gnomes not just because they are a bit naff but I think they look really evil, there's darkness in their hearts, I'm telling you.
ReplyDeleteHa! But they are like people and some are sweet I swear! As a child I loved them soooo much! I wonder if prince Harry will include another one this year?
DeleteYes, as a gardener, I get it. Tara Dillard's blog then is CLEARLY all yew!
ReplyDeleteI must go and check out her blog!
DeleteJust about anything can be used to size people up---shoes are especially telling. It's done everywhere.
ReplyDeleteYes I suppose it's true - I don't mind as long as it's funny and done in good humour like this. You won't like me bc my preferred shoe wear us flip flops if I can!
DeletePerhaps it's more anthropological, i.e., picking up clues about someone, than liking or disliking. Although I'm certain many people would use the clues to dismiss someone as uninteresting.
DeleteI live in a state near Washington, DC, and frequently attend social functions there. My work has nothing to do with power or gov't; I find it amusing to be chatting with someone who will downgrade me to the level of a potted plant when he/she realizes I cannot further their quest for increased power and better connections.
Yes you are very right. Very anthropological. I have been in situations like that too and oddly it makes me laugh bc it seems I don't have much anthropological value ;)
DeleteHaha! Laughing so much!! Esp laughing at the reference to ghastly hybrid teas as Rose snobbery is def alive and well. Sexy Rexy is alas a rather nice looking Rose but has the most horrendous name. There are a few others with similarly awful names...
ReplyDeleteKidney shaped ponds made out of fiberglass with small waterfalls or water features in the centre that look like sprinklers also fill me with horror.
Alas the built in BBQ is king in Australia. Usually accompanied by a full kitchen set up these days. I had a few friends ask why we didn't do that in our outdoor dining area... My answer is I can't be bothered cleaning an outdoor kitchen to cook in it, then clean it up again after. But I'm in the minority, most Aussies love them! Xxx
You just have to get the book bc you would love it! I was laughing and I only have dealt with pots. There is so much more goodies but thought I shouldn't do more than the amazon preview!! The BBQ is like the tv of the garden though no bc it ends up soaking up the limelight and takes up planting space although I wonder what it would feel like having one of those American style built in Viking BBQ fire put built in grill fireplace exterior tv stand combo going on...might air bnb it in Texas:) xx
DeleteStill smiling. Once heard someone described as "the kind of Englishman who looks at your shoes first..."
ReplyDeletethank you for this.
I am glad to share a few laughs!
DeleteI like a garden gone wild but mainly because I'm lazy. When I write I watch random seniors linger to deadhead my flowers while walking the dog. I love it!
ReplyDeleteMy neighbours do that with my boxes! I don't think I could actually manage a garden as much as I like looking at them!
DeleteHilarious! I have to get this book for Christopher my friend and landscape architect, he designed our garden which is getting a refresh this spring, he is very Yew. I stuck a Betty Boop rose in there a couple of years ago and he was not impressed, I'm sure he'll be hauling that out when he does the planting in May.
ReplyDeleteHe would love it and would make a great gift. I think Betty Boop sounds great but you might have to rename Comte de Liz from now on hehe and I can't wait to see the garden!
DeleteI have a garden and I want to pave it all over because I hate gardening, but my mum said she would disown me if I turn the garden into something that resembles a car park. We came to an agreement that if she does the garden I'll keep it and that agreement still stands. Love those translations! xx
ReplyDeleteThere are many people who have sone that bc they don't have family and are as lucky as you! Mind you I would have a pool instead if I could choose xx
DeleteHilarious! I love a garden but I always want someone else to "yew" it for me (ha) so if I need some garden loveliness I usually head to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. XO, Jill
ReplyDeleteYes I just go to the park and I get to enjoy it with none of the work and they do a great job! X
DeleteLove all this garden chat parading as tongue in cheek but actually the total truth!!.... It fascinates me that with all the references people are still so keen to place gnomes and the like in their gardens. The Hybrid T rose bit is so funny... I have a couple growing in my picking garden (one of two raised beds) and they last so well in the vase as opposed to darling David's roses who last but a day or two!! xxx
ReplyDeleteThe fairies are definitely a superstitious thing I think and people will do it for their powers! The lawn thing cracks me up and the Japanese also likes things temporary Jenny as it reminds them of the greater Buddhist principles that everything is temporary which is why they don't do lawns bc they think it's a waste of energy! Xx
DeleteEnjoyed the definitions and the garden snobbery! Really hilarious how the English class system is so pervasive that it invades the garden sphere. Also loved your comments.
ReplyDeleteThere's a beautiful old English style garden near Bowral (sorry can't remember name), the house is now a hotel, and we visit most years during spring. There's a magnificent bluebell wood and wonderful garden architecture and water features. As we walked back to the house (now hotel) along a beautiful path under gorgeous old trees, lined with flowering azaleas and rhodos - we saw it was called the Fairy Walk. Younger grand-daughter was shocked and sighed "But we didn't see any fairies!" I suggested they might have been hiding because we'd been talking too loudly. She thought that was the answer and started whispering!
In our tiny garden we have a mix of David Austins, old French roses (several Mme something or others, Souvenir de Malmaison, Fantin Latour etc on one side of the ledger but also have Just Joey from the other, together with Peace, Mr Lincoln, Iceberg and others I'm sure would belong on the Non-Yew side. I love them all. And it's true Austins and old fashioned roses do look superb in their soft blowsy beauty and their lovely fragrances but the hybrid teas will always last longer in the vase.
Funny also that the Royal gardens are Non-Yew - though I guess Royals are Non-Yew anyway - they're royal after all. But am guessing that it's probably more than that, a bit of a dig (sorry, couldn't resist)suggesting that these gardens might be bourgeois.
We have some things in the garden that are probably worse than gnomes. When our son was a young teenager he bought a giant snail, made of some sort of white composite, a big duck and a little girl reading as my Christmas presents over the years. Didn't want to hurt his feelings by revealing that I was less than enthusiastic the first time, so suggested I rather liked the snail. Quite a big mistake because the duck and small girl followed. He obviously thought he was onto a winner. They're still there but luckily the shrubs hide them more now. So glad he stopped at three. Pammie xxx
As long as it is good natured I think this sort of stuff is hysterical!!! Interestingly in Asia especially japan they view things like the garden rather differently. A garden in japan is for meditation so if it's not up to their standards they just think you are a soul with a long road ahead of you! Don't know what's worse! I love the notion of fairies and gnomes bringing out the mystical. I am sure you have a lovely garden. Are you on Instagram yet? It's like Facebook but not as many words. People would live pics of your garden and there are lots of real pics of actual gardens you might like. But yes the royals are non yew! But I won't dig into the reasons for that here ( I coped your pun!) I'm going to chelsea this year so can't wait to see what the newest David Austin rose is xxx
DeleteGosh, I need a copy of this book to add to my library. I've not heard of it before but its tongue in cheek writing reminds me of another favorite of mine, The Sloan Ranger Handbook.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the chuckles that ensued while reading this most amusing of post!
Funny, I remember doing an article for the Evening Standard about Non Yew stuff. I don't belong in either camp as I prefer NZ natives, but I guess the tree ferns can make it anywhere and I do like frogs in boats and kitsch stuff in general.
ReplyDelete