Greetings from the Mayr clinic in Austria

Grüß Gott or Grus Gott as they say round these parts.
It means something like may God greet you. 
You are supposed to respond if I see him, Wenn ich ihn sehe or hopefully not too soon, Hoffentlich nicht so bald.

I have been a little quiet on the blogging front as I arrived here last Thursday for a duration of 24 days.  I am doing my annual physical MOT at the Mayr Clinic.  Some of you may have heard of it recently as plummy Plum Sykes did a feature in US Vogue about a Mayr Clinic just two miles down the road from where I am. 

There are quite a few clinics in Austria that follow the Mayr Cure.

Roman Abramovich famously hired the Lanserhof Clinic when he was going through his divorce.  Another great Mayr Cure based facility that some of my friends went to and I would have joined except I went off to Southeast Asia in March is the Park Igls.

My Gesundheitszentrum ja wohl!

 But like Bray, the little town in Berkshire I went to last month  where they don't have a supermarket and yet have two Michelin star restaurants, the south side of the Lake Worthersee is dotted with a few Austrian holiday homes but then two Mayr clinics.

It's very similar in principle but there are definitely two camps to this school of thought.  Ask anyone from Harvard and Yale what the difference is from each other when it is all Ivy League anyway and you will get the same emotive responses from guests at each. 

 The guests who stand united inside the Ryanair Flight divides at Klagenfurt airport.  One can normally tell who is going to which clinic.  The ones with the latest fashion color in the crocodile Birkin and monogrammed Louis Vuitton hard luggage goes to Viva Mayr and the women carrying neutral color Kelly bags and hemp tote bags (me) go to Mayr More.

Only plus to the detoxing is that you hardly sleep initially and are able to catch the sunrises and swim in unrippled waters of the lake so pure that I finally know what it is to swim in Evian.

I have been here several times so know exactly what I am in for.  
It is part boarding school, part clinic, part prison.  

When you feel like going to the nearest restaurant for a schnitzel, everyone says that you are only cheating yourself. 
That's the school part. 

When you feel ill or hungry, you go to your doctor and they will run blood tests with results at breakfast the next day. 
That's the clinic part.

When you ask everyone what they are in for and how long they're staying, learning about new allergies along with sly techniques on getting more food.  
That's the prison part.

I have just gone through a detox crisis which I will explain to you in another post soon but just thought I would share with you my daily meals.  Everyone gets prescribed a different diet but everyone eats in relative silence.

This is where I sit.

Sorry for those who are having to view some repeat pics from the ones I posted on the Facebook page where I do little updates.

Breakfast which is buckwheat bread (according to my diet), beetroot puree and local, organic, sheep yoghurt.  The bread is supposed to be chewed at least 50 times. 
Count 'em, 5 0!

Lunch is alkaline soup, buckwheat bread, and a protein spread.

Dinner is normally either tea or broth with a vial of linseed oil.

But there is a choice for some people at lunch.

This was my dinner last night because I was sooo hungry that I threw a major strop and told the staff I would not go on my lymph stimulating walk because I had no energy so they gave me a squeeze of avocado mousse. 

( I normally do not throw diva strops.)

But I feed my body vitamin infusions to make up for the lack of food.  This was my favourite cocktail of  Vitamin C,  B6, and glutathione which unlike most cocktails is great for your liver.

I will update you guys more about my stay and time here as I am here for  another couple of weeks but just wanted to say hello.  I am supposed to limit my exposure to electromagnetic waves ( their words not mine ) so while I will be slowing down on posting and commenting, I am cheating and still reading!

  

Stay safe all! x