British Vogue August 2014 - Part 1

I decided on British Vogue this month as the US and French issues didn't have much to talk about.

But if you would like to see images from those issues then please click on to my Vogue Pinterest board.

There were two different covers for this issue and will show you the other cover in tomorrow's post.

Before we start...

The fashion world lost a guru called Louise Wilson.

She was truly in the know and a starmaker. 

I don't know if Central Saint Martins where she taught will be as desirable a school now she is gone.  She may not have been known outside the fashion world but it is truly a loss.

How could one ignore the ads especially when they take up half the pages?

Louis Vuitton is trying to be a hybrid of fashion and art.

 

It says it is a "curated series" which lends some gravitas. 

And at the prices those fashion photographers charge, they do justify being called artists. And they don't even set up their cameras and just click just like modern artists do when they have their production lines a la Damien Hirst.

Hmmm. 

Karl chose Kirstin Stewart to be his latest star of the Chanel ads.

She is holding a bottle of Chanel No. 5 which considering perfume sprtiz girls spray it with abandon it is tantamount to a weapon and storing it in a gun holster is apt.  

But I have an inkling he wasn't alluding to that.

She looks like a waitress at a Tex Mex restaurant which is obviously a "look" that passed me by.

Burberry is getting really good at showing their statement pieces and pulling me onto their website to have a better look.  

Christopher Bailey is trying to earn his salary I suppose.

Carla Bruni is a civilian again and free to sell her presence 

and be a supermodel again.

She looks good but illustrates that just because 

you don't have wrinkles doesn't mean you will necessarily fool anyone about your age.

Is it me or is D Squared flogging a necklace or one of those things people put on their necks after a car accident?

They went crazy with that bedazzling gun.

Onto one of many editorials.

Let's not fool ourselves into thinking that Vogue is a simple fashion anthology but it is a convoluted catalogue that incites purchases.

They are trying to flog us arm warmers.

This upsets me because the part between my wrist and elbows is one of my best features and only bit that isn't cellulitey.

To be fair to them, they are £55 so not exorbitant but a fairly needless item. The model is wearing a sleeveless dress coupled with the arm warmers to illustrate the futility...

This jumpsuit is dreadful. 

Like, totally, the losing outfit on Project Runway.

Imagine if you needed the loo in a hurry...

In this pic, it's hat, top and arm warmers.

 Even they conceded they were just flogging eyeliner.

The model below looks like a hooker who ran out of a hotel room 

during an emergency fire drill.

This outfit looks like what Lindsey Lohan would wear checking into the Betty Ford clinic.

Lady below is rebranding herself and going to 

Central St Martins / Parsons to study pattern cutting.

And a course in knitting to make a killing on those arm warmers.

Got nothing on this except I LOVE Celine!!

Chalet girl sneaking out of the bedroom of one of the guests because she needs to make him breakfast in an hour.

I like felt. 

But not as a coat.

It reminds me of projects in primary school and makes me search for Elmer's school glue as a Pavlovian response.

I love this so much. 

Lanvin has done a great classic grey suit.

It's in felt which is the fabric du saison which lessens its appeal but then that raw seam is the clincher. That unfinished edge makes a stern outfit so flexible.

Jil Sander is classic. 

So wearable and lasts for decades.

 

But this pictures shows why wearable clothes lack graphic appeal and rarely feature in editorials.

Remember this event made the rounds on social media a while ago?

Ralph Lauren made a very substantial donation to the Royal Marsden Hospital of which the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are patrons.
  But Kate decided 6 weeks before the event ( which is the PR equal of last minute ) that she wasn't going to attend and

 it is an open secret that he was furious...

There are cliches that are not only verbal but visual.

Vogue and Charlotte Gainsbourg ( or her agent ) has styled her in that French boho actress off duty look which is starting to get really boring already.

I am always circumspect when there is a feature about an area that is the next "it" place to reside.

This feature is trying to sell us Bruton in the west country of England.

The art gallery Hauser and Wirth have opened an outpost in the town and upped its cachet.

But it seems a bit disjointed because I didn't know what I was meant to feel after reading this.

Do I google house prices there?

Will I be cool if I share a garden wall with these possible neighbours?

This sort of thing belongs in Tatler and not Vogue.

But it is slightly suspicious as I remember there was a feature once on how cool the Queens Park area of London was. 

( It's not that cool. Expensive but definitely not cool.

It's the compromise for not living in Notting Hill.

 It's been up and coming for a decade now.)  

Then I found out that the editor of UK Vogue lives there and publicity like that doesn't exactly hurt house prices.

 So I reckon some Conde Nast staffers have a country home

 there and want to fortify their investment.

Just a theory..!

 

There was so much in this issue that I am splitting it into two parts.