Sunday 9 June 2013

10 books you get judged for reading

I was reading my daily dose of The Age
the daily Melbourne newspaper.

There was an article that made me smile and nod.

It was about books that you will get judged for reading in public.

C'mon, we all do it. 
Judging that is. The item is incidental.
I don't judge people's clothes. 
( People who live in glass houses and all that...)
But books? Oh yes.
I would rather be seen reading Playboy than certain titles.

Below was their selection.

50 Shades of Grey sounds so much better in Spanish.
 At least in another language the reason you didn't get 
the plot is a lot more understandable.
This book has not only spawned the obvious theme of discussions but more importantly the spelling of grey or is it gray?
 That spelling dilemma was a lot more layered than the characters.
50 shades?  Yeah, of boredom.  
If you want a fun read then do read the Amazon reviews for the book.  That alone was worth reading the book for!




Schapelle Corby is the Howard Marks of Australia.
Well, maybe not quite like him but 
she was busted smuggling drugs in Indonesia.  
 The only people reading the book is...
a) her family and friends
b) teenage girls who got given this by their aunts 
to avert a similar fate
c) Overseas Australians who are convinced this helps them keep abreast of the zeitgeist of their homeland 


Ah, Dan Brown
One doesn't even have to say much.
Simplistic and yet overly constructed outrageous plots rejected even by Oliver Stone that was badly translated from one of the original Dead Sea scrolls Dan bought from the back of a dodgy Freemason's white van.
 If one is still reading Dan Brown after the initial novelty of the first few novels then that means you are either a genius Mensa professor emeritus who just wants a mental break or a Southern Baptist toying with the idea of converting to the Roman church.


I read this book and loved it when it first came out. 
Then it got the immortal kiss from Oprah, the one that makes you go to heaven but you kinda have to die first.
 People have a way of destroying something that is pretty good.
People often refer to this book as they do Sex and the City.
I am just surprised at how many people follow her footsteps through Italy, India, and Bali which I think is greater in number than for
 El Camino de Santiago.  


Once again, this is more for the Aussies.
I was only in Australia for a little while during his reign so it wouldn't be fair for me to say anything about John Howard.  Some of my friends miss him and some can't stand him.   
Every time I hear his name, I just think of Kath from Kath and Kim groaning, "Bloody Howard!"

This book is so iconic that it even has a board game.
I tried to read this upon recommendation from well intentioned friends in my single days as it was the secular bible among the unmarried lasses.  Some of those girls are still single...
 If you found a date after reading this, 
then you really must have smooched a Martian.  


This book has enriched and destroyed lives in equal measure.
Many a people have believed and honed their psyche convincing 
the universe to deliver them a new nose, new partner, 
and a new BMW but came away not even able to bend 
a spoon like Uri Geller.
 The real secret is how she sold any books at all.


Guilty of reading this on holiday just before it came out that 
I was reading the adventure autobiographical version of 
Of course, we should have known it was fictionalized when he said he learned numerous Indian dialects, enjoyed the poverty, and in his spare time fought a war on the frontier. 

Harry Potter fans were meant to have graduated from wizardry to werewolves.   Bible belt Christians were confused and gingerly turned the Mountain Dew stained pages that even the wholesome Mormons were seen reading so it couldn't be all that bad right?  
Restraint and everlasting life were good things after all.
  Adults were reading these books rationalizing that they were vetting the books for their daughters.  But actually it was the most convoluted way of playing the game snog, marry or avoid.
Things would get a little awkward when both mother and daughters would run up to Robert Pattinson down Chiswick high street in London or at the Grove mall in LA.

Actually, I will not sneer at anyone reading this.  
This is a public service announcement.  
I always thought it deserved more than just one episode in Sex and the City.  So it was good to see that it got its own movie albeit with a message completely contradictory to the theme of its book.  
But you don't watch Hollywood movies for the truth.
Forget what people think.  
You will save yourself years of analyzing and your friends a lot of wasted time of wondering and wandering.  
 If you don't have an overbearing mother or a feisty gay friend, 
then buy this book.

Any other titles you can think of?

62 comments:

  1. Classic Naomi! Love this post...glad to say I don't have any of the mentioned books covered in brown paper or other wise. Phew!!
    Stay Critical & Read On my friend!
    xo,
    Kelly

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    1. Oh gosh, I do have some of those! But just not in public hehe xx

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  2. Well I'm not an avid book reader myself, but I had a feeling that 50 Shades would come up in the list. I haven't read it, but I too have read reviews and you are right, they are very interesting and funny. I'd like to read it before the film comes out, or should I do it the other way round? Not sure!

    Oooh I do like the Twilight movies (saddo I know) but I haven't read the book; I haven't read or watched Harry Potter. I think with Twilight and Harry Potter, there's an age limit to when it's acceptable to be seen reading it on a tube isn't there?

    Out of curiosity I have read Men Are From Mars - I'm still single!!! Enough said!

    Any autobiographies written by celebrities under the age of 25 always boggles my mind!

    Hope you've had a great week hun xx



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    1. I read 50 shades on holiday and as I didn't know what it was about I was just reading it by the lake and only after did I realize why people were double taking. I read the first twilight to see what the fuss was about but I think if I was a teenager I would be crazy about it. But then again I was Harry Potter mad so...Hope you had fun in NY? xx

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  3. I saw it in icelandic last summer and almost bought it! Friends gave me the whole set for the 50th, but I just can't do it. I don't tend to think of age limits or anything when I read - the Harry Potter books are great, the Twilight - meh (though I admit I read them with my teenage daughter!) As long as it isn't too stupid I will give it a try!

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    1. Do you read Icelandic? Whoa. How cool. Yes I adored HP but couldn't get into Twilight but then again it might be because of K-Patz!

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  4. Hahaha! I judge too - I'm such a terrible book snob. Although I do have a guilty secret.
    I have read all three of the 50 shades of nonsense books. I sort of enjoyed the first, in the way that one might enjoy a Krispy Kreme doughnut.... First bit ok, then an overwhelming and growing sense of consuming something fake and not very good for health.
    My excuse was ..... Oh I know, there can be no excuse. I was travelling around Europe by train with the family and wanted to read trash.

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    1. I think we all read trashy books but just not in public! I just thought 50 shades was so funny - that kitchen scene where she thinks he is so sexy bc he has cupboards with no handles - so european, oh my! The amazon reviews are hilarious - please read them!

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  5. Whew...I don't need to put brown paper covers on anything I'm reading! Very astute observation though. I DO judge people on what I see them reading. It's fun to imagine what their lives are like based on what I see their noses buried in. Fun post.
    Jennifer

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    1. Thanks Jennifer. I am trying to figure out my summer holiday selection now and for the heck of it I might get the John Howard book to see what everyone in OZ refers to a lot!

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  6. I've got quite a few of those books....! The John Howard one is sitting, unopened, in the pile of books on my husband's bedside table. It's large, and probably boring! I'm thinking much of Australia is starting to long for the days of stability under Howard though.. currently our parliament is a total joke and we've got until September before we can actively do something about it.
    I've never liked pseudo self help books though, so The Secret, and Men are from Mars and He's just not that into you are not my thing.
    Agree with Jennifer above though - I judge people by their books! And some that I read are sent to charity fairly quickly after reading them! xx

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    1. I will read the John Howard one just because I feel out of touch. I do know there are squabblings in Oz but there is so much political drama everywhere that I feel depressed knowing too much about it! One of my friends was obsessed with Men from Mars that we had to play the boardgame. But it never helped anybody! Yes I might need to edit my bookshelves now xx

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  7. I'm actually not much of a reader, but as a partial tomboy, I felt a bit of shame reading the Shopaholic series in public. Especially with the bright pink cover!

    Sincerely,
    Sabrina

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    1. The Shopaholic series is so popular - I see it a lot on the tube! I might flip through it to see as there is always a chapter in those type of books that are fun!

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  8. Oh, I am so guilty of judging my own book selections! I'm afraid that somehow my library checkout record will be leaked and everyone will see it and go, "Gee, Jenni, did you know there was a grownup book section?" because SO MUCH of what I read is Young Adult. Including Twilight, I admit.

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    1. Ha! Yes, the public library has records on us...No shame - I read Harry Potter next to a 8 year old on the tube once but I was so engrossed I hardly noticed someone opposite raising their eyebrows at me!

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  9. OMG, I read everything I can download on my Kindle in the middle of the night. However, totally agree with you on the "50 Shades" piece of drivel. I couldn't finish the 1st book after I realized what it was going to be. I love Vince Flynn's books (black ops, covert stuff) which will soon become a movie with this amazing character called Mitch Rapp. Try one of them. I cannot read chick books any longer, they have to have meat.

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    1. The kindle is dangerous bc I have downloaded so many books I have good intentions of ready but never do. I will check out your suggestion - thanks for the recommend as I am looking for new titles all the time!

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  10. This is so true and made me giggle. I have to confess I read the first 50 Shades (does it not count if I didn't read the other two??) and I read Twilight...what's worse I liked the first movie...I love team trash...books and TV shows...there I said it!!

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    1. I think everyone read 50 shades - I mean she sold millions so who didn't read it right? The question is are you team werewolf or team vampire? :) PS trash tv? I am the worst!

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    2. I meant teen trash - Laguna Beach, Twighlight, Vampire Diaries but I'll also watch The Only Way is Essex, My Big Fat Gypsy anything... I can't get enough. I'll sit and watch Come Dine With Me (the UK version) for hours!

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  11. Well I guess I can be proud I haven't read any of these.. In fact I'm feeling badly I have such a stack next to my bed and am hoping to finish at least a few books this Summer. I do have to admit I have read some of those secondary Jane Austen books..Those that are a modern version of her books and also a continuation of the novels themselves..Most were bad, but there were a few good ones...

    xxKim

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    1. Now this is a real confession. Kim, and while I am at it - the world. I am not a huge Jane Austen fan. Read it when I had to but when people refer to her I just nod politely...I thank her for her contribution but I don't get enthused so I think that might be just as shameful no? :) xx

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  12. Maybe I'm weird but I really didn't like that book. I don't even think I finished it. I need a strong female character not someone who is week around some good looking guy with issues. Plus the whole concept is so unrealisitic. Whatever!
    xo
    Sharon

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    1. No not weird at all Sharon! But I think I will watch the movie when it comes out anyway out of curiosity x

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  13. So interesting and so true. I remember taking The secret diaries of a call girl on holiday with me to Penang and then being completely too embarrassed to read it in public.

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    1. Oh, I didn't read the book but the miniseries was great fun! ( I have double standards when it comes to trashy tv...)x

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  14. Bravo Naomi!... excellent entertainment reading this... I love that Ruth above admitted to reading all three of the Shades books - I managed two!!... while we were having a family holiday last year ... then the girls and I spoke for days about who we would cast as Grey if a movie should be made!!.... - but honestly - it was after the 300'th mention of her "Inner Goddess" that I just flipped.... SO irritating!! Like Heidi above, we have the John Howard book here too... unread ... I try not to judge people on what they read ... and am always asking around for book advice - still am!! Jennyxx

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    1. Oh yeah, I forgot the inner goddess bit! I can't wait to see who they cast for the movie though...Ultimately, it is a bit of fun but you have to admit that reading that book on the tube would give people a reason to smirk :) xx

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  15. Hilarious! I love the Dan Brown books but of course read them wrapped in brown paper.
    The secret, oy hold me back, can't believe that so many buy into that piffle.

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    1. I read the secret to see what the fuss was about but honestly it was either badly written or my grasp on metaphysics is just poor!

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  16. Haha that's real! You can get judged by reading a book :-)
    I've bought 50 shades, but never started it... Perhaps because I didn't want people to see me reading it in the subway :-)
    xoxo

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    1. Funny they distributed 50 shades in France much later because they worried the French would only buy it as a present for Xmas. But yes, reading that book in the subway would attract a bit of attention! xx

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  17. Eeeekk...I have most of these books! But been wise enough not to read them in public. Still haven't read 50 Shades, but my library emailed me that it's on hold for me. I didn't get back to them. I read 5 pages of Men are from Mars..and stopped. I got bored. I got a fake copy (yes fake) of Da Vinci Code in India. Left it in the flat where I used to live. Read it in a few hours.
    I find Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic series fun and funny, but I never read them in public. I thought it's too girly and at some point I didn't want people to think I'm too girly.
    I'll leave you with this: there's a 'slow' model/beauty queen in the Philippines who's known for murdering the English language. I heard her say in one interview, "Don't judge my brother, he's not a book."
    Have a lovely week! x

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    1. Love that quote!! Hilarious...I need to read Kinsella and know what I am missing out on - might download on my kindle ;p The library must have had a waiting list for the book! xx

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  18. Ha, ha, fantastic post. I was once waiting in a long queue at WH Smiths so I picked up a copy of 50 Shades and read the first page. There was an audible intake of (I'm assuming disapproving) breath from the guy behind me. It was hilarious! The page I read was awful, very badly written but I continued reading just because his discomfort & distain was so funny. Bad of me, I know. Tee hee!

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    1. Yes, certain books sure do solicit a response right? I would have done the same and rung a friend asking if they wanted me to pick up an extra copy! Imagine going on a first date with that book popping out of your bag - you are either dumped or getting a follow up call!

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  19. Have you seen Fifty Sheds of Grey?

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fifty-Sheds-Grey-Erotica-not-too-modern/dp/0752265458

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    1. I just clicked on it and it looks hilarious! Thanks for the link :)

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  20. I read most things on my kindle - that way nobody can judge me. Unless they frown upon kindles, in which case I could care less?
    I've never read Dan Brown but now I'm tempted to see what all the fuss is about.I hate all that Eat, Pray, Love and The Secret stuff.I'd add all Precious Gwynnie's Goopy books to your list!! Then I'd strike a match.....

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    1. I gotta start using my kindle more! I do think that you should read DaVinci Code just because it is one of those books that is iconic whether you like it or not. I have never gone on Goop funny enough - now that you mention it I might check it out. Now look what you've done...

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  21. Too funny!! I will admit to reading Fifty Shades of Grey last month - I was dead curious and it was on sale on Book Depository. Even so, it was a terrible waste of money. It was so badly written I couldn't believe someone chose to publish it. The constant mention of her inner goddess made me think that the writer has an extremely limited grasp of the English language. I also tried reading Twilight but couldn't get past the first chapter, it was so awful.

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    1. Louise - I have to be honest and say I will be watching the movie though! I can't wait for it now. I would have watched Twilight except I can't see it in KPatz - they just look like simpering teenagers...

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  22. The kindle has removed a lot of the fun from observing people with their bad books on the subway and the bus. I saw a girl sitting next to me the other day on the tube reading an article in a magazine entitled "The Mind of Britney Spears." Ponder that, if you will.

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    1. The mind of Britney Spears? must have been a short article...

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    2. It was quite a few pages but with nothing on them.

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  23. Haha this is so hilarious and true. Well I'm actually planning to read 50 shades (should I ?)... But I read Da Vinci code, I was really into it, then I stared reading other books and realizes Dan Brown had the exact same structure I found it very strange and then I told myself that 1 was enough!

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    1. I was exactly the same Melo - he has one formula but he just changes the name. But the first time is great but he is a one hit wonder!

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  24. There was a cartoon we had in our office in manhattan of a young man on the subway reading his kindle wearing a tshirt that said "it's Nietzsche".

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    1. Hilarious!! I am going to get that shirt now :)

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    2. or one could go for the double-bluff and read Nietzsche in a brown paper wrapping and have the t-shirt read "Jackie Collins"

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    3. But that means I have to somehow spill coffee over the cover and then tear it off ;p

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  25. Wow, this is so true:)! I often find myself hiding what I'm reading in public! I never thought of it that way!!!

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    1. Yeah, just hide those books in between your Vogue cover ;)

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  26. I have a copy of The Secret *hides*

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    1. I read it too! But I just entrust my life on it like some :)

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  27. Well, the Kindle and reading on the iPad has changed all that 'public reading' hasn't it? Your posts always make me laugh with your witty observations.
    I 'flunked' out of 50 Shades myself....didn't think it was that hot really.
    Happy Tuesday from California!
    xx, Heather @ Stylemindchic

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    1. Hi Heather, thank you. p.s. so jealous of the Cali lifestyle. Still need a scarf here! xx

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  28. I have not read any if these books :) Is there a a difference in list for men and women? I can't imagine many men reading books from that list. I think women are generally more judgemental, but surely there is a list of books that men would be judged upon. I think music can be used too! I think a lot of people make assumptions based on the music you like. In general humans love to judge!!!

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    1. Oh yes, frankly anything can be used to judge everybody! But I will double take if someone is reading a certain type of book for sure truth be told. But obviously I myself have read most of these books as well but in private :)

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  29. :D I'm nodding like crazy over here!! Yes, yes and yes to these. My friend LOVES the Secret and 50 Shades and whenever she's going on and on about these I'm just... "Aham... Sure. Yes... Aham." I don't have it in my heart to say that to me it's all bullshit.:)

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    1. One of my bf's was crazy about 50 shades and I just had to smile as well ;p

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