10 books you get judged for reading

I was reading my daily dose of The Age, 
the daily Melbourne newspaper.

There was an article that made me smile and nod.

It was about books that you will get judged for reading in public.

C'mon, we all do it. 

Judging that is. The item is incidental.

I don't judge people's clothes. 

( People who live in glass houses and all that...)

But books? Oh yes.

I would rather be seen reading Playboy than certain titles.

Below was their selection.

50 Shades of Grey sounds so much better in Spanish.

 At least in another language the reason you didn't get 

the plot is a lot more understandable.

This book has not only spawned the obvious theme of discussions but more importantly the spelling of grey or is it gray?

 That spelling dilemma was a lot more layered than the characters.

50 shades?  Yeah, of boredom.  

If you want a fun read then do read the Amazon reviews for the book.  That alone was worth reading the book for!

Schapelle Corby is the Howard Marks of Australia.

Well, maybe not quite like him but 

she was busted smuggling drugs in Indonesia.  

 The only people reading the book is...

a) her family and friends

b) teenage girls who got given this by their aunts 

to avert a similar fate

c) Overseas Australians who are convinced this helps them keep abreast of the zeitgeist of their homeland 

Ah, Dan Brown. 

One doesn't even have to say much.

Simplistic and yet overly constructed outrageous plots rejected even by Oliver Stone that was badly translated from one of the original Dead Sea scrolls Dan bought from the back of a dodgy Freemason's white van.

 If one is still reading Dan Brown after the initial novelty of the first few novels then that means you are either a genius Mensa professor emeritus who just wants a mental break or a Southern Baptist toying with the idea of converting to the Roman church.

I read this book and loved it when it first came out. 

Then it got the immortal kiss from Oprah, the one that makes you go to heaven but you kinda have to die first.

 People have a way of destroying something that is pretty good.

People often refer to this book as they do Sex and the City.

I am just surprised at how many people follow her footsteps through Italy, India, and Bali which I think is greater in number than for
 El Camino de Santiago.  

Once again, this is more for the Aussies.

I was only in Australia for a little while during his reign so it wouldn't be fair for me to say anything about John Howard.  Some of my friends miss him and some can't stand him.   

Every time I hear his name, I just think of Kath from Kath and Kim groaning, "Bloody Howard!"

This book is so iconic that it even has a board game.

I tried to read this upon recommendation from well intentioned friends in my single days as it was the secular bible among the unmarried lasses.  Some of those girls are still single...

 If you found a date after reading this, 

then you really must have smooched a Martian.  

This book has enriched and destroyed lives in equal measure.

Many a people have believed and honed their psyche convincing 

the universe to deliver them a new nose, new partner, 

and a new BMW but came away not even able to bend 

a spoon like Uri Geller.

 The real secret is how she sold any books at all.

Guilty of reading this on holiday just before it came out that 

I was reading the adventure autobiographical version of 

"A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey.

Of course, we should have known it was fictionalized when he said he learned numerous Indian dialects, enjoyed the poverty, and in his spare time fought a war on the frontier. 

Harry Potter fans were meant to have graduated from wizardry to werewolves.   Bible belt Christians were confused and gingerly turned the Mountain Dew stained pages that even the wholesome Mormons were seen reading so it couldn't be all that bad right?  

Restraint and everlasting life were good things after all.

  Adults were reading these books rationalizing that they were vetting the books for their daughters.  But actually it was the most convoluted way of playing the game snog, marry or avoid.

Things would get a little awkward when both mother and daughters would run up to Robert Pattinson down Chiswick high street in London or at the Grove mall in LA.

Actually, I will not sneer at anyone reading this.  

This is a public service announcement.  

I always thought it deserved more than just one episode in Sex and the City.  So it was good to see that it got its own movie albeit with a message completely contradictory to the theme of its book.  
But you don't watch Hollywood movies for the truth.

Forget what people think.  

You will save yourself years of analyzing and your friends a lot of wasted time of wondering and wandering.  

 If you don't have an overbearing mother or a feisty gay friend, 

then buy this book.

Any other titles you can think of?