Ah yes, the new year has chimed in.
Not only has it brought hope for this coming year but
also its shadow of guilt.
That is why I am reluctant to make any concrete resolutions.
I have never stuck to any of them.
I shan't think that this year is the exception.
I usually start and stop things according to my own rhythm. Although having said that, this year is one of the rare times where the new year coincides with the new moon which makes it a good time to make a new start.
New year's resolutions are as standard and prescriptive as the wishes of a beauty pageant contestant.
(Even the parachute ride bit.)
Well maybe not quite so incomprehensible.
I probably won't do yoga five times a week.
I probably won't go to the farmer's market and whip up breakfast, lunch, and dinners from scratch. I probably won't drink 2.5 litres of distilled spring water powered by full moon charged crystals daily.
I probably won't double cleanse my face morning and night with standing appointments at the hairdressers every 6 weeks.
But I have learned from the past year that trying new things is very rewarding. I have learned that home isn't where my electoral roll is registered but where Mr CSW and I sleep together. I have learned that as much as I thought I was equally attached to the idea of being a bohemian gypsy and certain personal material possessions
that I truly can live out of one suitcase.
While it has been stressful at times not having my things at hand,
it has also been very liberating.
So I have decided to keep doing things I am shy or nervous about.
Open mic night at a comedy club?
Get on the public soapbox at Speaker's corner?
I think there is a visceral stress and emphasis that
people don't spend time doing things which
won't improve one's chances in their career, status, or relationships.
So I might learn German and Danish even though it won't lead to anything. Although Danish will save me from reading subtitles on all my favourite Nordic shows.
I have not reached enlightenment so am looking forward
to getting all my boxes when I get back home.
But I am going to do a serious edit of my things
when I get them back.
One concrete resolution I will try and stick to is
I have more than enough things than I know what to do with.
I will not purchase anything from Primark, H & M, Zara or
any other high street store this year.
( Exception being white cotton t shirts! )
I must admit I have some nice things that I should use and display rather than constantly trying to add things to a collection that isn't even on show and constantly in storage.
It is a false economy and unfair to the objects themselves.
Earlier last year, I had my first negative incident on the tube where I was physically threatened by 5 teenage boys that was completely unprovoked. I didn't get harmed in the end but it still gives me a moment of hesitation every time I get on the tube.
Ironically since then,
I have had to take public transport more than ever!
But to mentally counteract that incident
I might start smiling at complete strangers on the streets of London and risk being seen as a lunatic!
Happy new year and
wishing you all the strength and resolve to stick to any resolutions you have made this year!