Thursday, 14 November 2013

Shhh...It's Victoria's Secret


It has now become a marketer's dream and 
the hype around this event is one of
 a funkier and more musical version of Miss Universe.

Miss Angel who forgot to wax the back of her neck, back 
and her ankles.

I am sure most teenage boys would view this differently but 
I couldn't help but mind read the following...

I am going to kill my agent.
 I finally get the Victoria Secret gig  
but instead I look I am dressed with the hand me downs of a 
Rastafarian and a clown.


 I hate this outfit and I don't know if even my underwear hanging out and my pout is going to distract anyone.
But some blogger out there will copy this outfit and 
I will get some extra publicity out of this.

 I haven't eaten in days so have no energy but 
I found my own way to elbow out my competition.

So I starved for two weeks and went to boot camp for one month and then they put this friggin' smiley face on my toned honed abs??




I am not an airhead.
I am complicated.
I have so many emoticons feelings.


 I am not mentally vacant. 
 Can't you see I am thinking musically?

Not only does butter not melt in my mouth but 
snowflakes don't melt on my body.

I have this mink hat and cuffs on but I don't know why 
I am still so cold...

Now this is just me thinking.


Marigolds with lingerie?
Seriously Victoria's Secret?
Whoever styled the Victoria's Secret show forgot to make
 these two barefoot and pregnant while they were at it...

69 comments:

  1. LOL - you made me chuckle. I bet they're thinking "I can't wait to spend the phat cheque I will receive at the end of this 2 hour show!"

    xx
    Hey...... I appear to have missed a post, going to read it now!

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    1. They all genuinely looked miserable! Normally they are so happy. Mind you I lie emoticon girl had several happy faces to prove it xx

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  2. Hilarious!! Love your commentary. If only you were doing live commentary, Eurovision style.
    What ridiculous outfits - the 80's inspired ones are particularly awful. They distract from the underwear (although maybe that is the point?) xx

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    1. Heidi if it were live there would have been a lot of - what the?? But even the underwear was so ordinary... Am surprised bending or marks and spencer get on the bandwagon and do a show like V S. worst show yet! Xx

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    2. was just relooking at the photos, and can you imagine if you appeared in your bedroom dressed like the woman in the mink cuffs etc? My husband would probably keel over in shock! It would certainly scare the bejeezus out of the kids if they were to see me in that getup - they'd think the Snow Queen had arrived to take them prisoner in her ice castle.

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    3. Scary thing is teenage girls will learn what is supposedly sexy from this. Next time they try and seduce someone as you say imagine walking into the bedroom with a rappers torn pants a mink hat and some pouting emoticons with marigolds? I must be lslowly losing the pulse on the zeitgeist...

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  3. CSW: Let's plan our own for 2014! I will parade down the runway in granny panties, the heating pad I am using today for my bad back and red lipstick. That is all. I don't care if they see Laverne and Shirley - the will be down around my knees anyhoo...

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    1. Hilarious!! But can I get the emoticon outfit and have scowling faces on them?? Plus my hot water bottle strapped to my stomach!!

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    2. And I will wear my hole-y winter sweats with a sports bra!
      This post had me giggling away!

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    3. Parallel show 2014 girls? I stand my ground being emoticon girl!

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    4. My trusty iron clad sports bra and boot socks are enough to get anyone running for the hills. But just to make sure, I'll put on my helmet as well.

      Did you notice, one of the poor wee lambs is being held up by a balloon!

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    5. And I'll wear my Minnie Mouse fleecy bottoms with my old thermal vest. My wings will be wire coat hangers covered with an old flannelette sheet.

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    6. Just so you know everything written here is legally binding! I expect some great pics.

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    7. Photographer, location, hair and makeup, and a really bad stylist booked!

      Now, who shall we get as the fluffer?

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    8. Curator - you need to also start blogging at least sporadically again!

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    9. I'll second that! Does anyone know how to set up a forum, I wonder if we could do a wee mini magazine or something for fun?

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    10. Tabs... Such a great idea!

      Whether you like it or not - you are genius.

      I'm totally in - if no one knows how to then I will figure it out if that means you might weave a bit of your magic! Also I think you might know a few bloggers who might like to contribute...

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    11. I'm in if you want to set something up.
      Would be a real hoot !

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    12. Righty, I'm going to do a thank you post on Monday ( I know, what bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die - B & P and every other woman on the planet) and ask if anyone knows how to do this, my computer knowledge is at OAP level.

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    13. Sounds like a fun plan guys! Have a lovely weekend x

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    14. Wendy, a delayed reaction ... just figured out who Laverne and Shirley are and nearly choked.

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  4. Laugh out loud funny.

    The world has quite clearly, gone Mad.

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    1. Wonder what the emoticons for that would look like? ;)

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  5. I just ate dinner so it's paining me to laugh this hard, but thanks, I needed that.

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  6. Hilarious! A much needed chortle in my day. What's disturbing about this parade as so much of it is clearly being marketed to young teens with all the smiley faces etc. I do wear Vics because of the all the good pulleys and levers and padding and whatty notty though - they are ace.

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    Replies
    1. They are double the price here! But the team at VS must have changed bc this theme was soo odd!

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  7. Lol! .. Marigolds and lingerie.. keeping it real!
    Love this post, and if i'm honest.. some of the gear :)

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    Replies
    1. But please don't buy the emoticon head carnival headgear ok? :)

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  8. Do I detect a touch of Miley Cyrus-ness in all this?

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    Replies
    1. I am surprised they didn't get her to serenade to the girls instead of Taylor swift!

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  9. Dear god, I must be getting old. Is this what we're all supposed to be vapidly wondering around in now?

    Don't think my husband would be interested in me sporting any of those concoctions. Not even the half plucked chicken look. If I'm not pinny clad and serving 'Le Dîner', it wouldn't even raise a Gallic shrug.

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    Replies
    1. The times, they are a a changing!

      I really do wonder where evolution is headed...

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    2. Have you ever seen the film Idiocracy?
      I'd say we're pretty much there already.

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    3. Dang Curator, my list is growing! Must watch over boxing dy!

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  10. Phew some of them are really super skinny.
    Curator, what? You don't do the washing up in your undies and Marigolds?

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    1. Even for VS these girls got skinnier,meven Adriana Lima is skinnier than ever. Maybe I need to be like a ironncurtil east German simmer and ingest testosterone to get that slimline build!

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    2. Tabbers, I do make a point of only wear my pinny when filling up the dishwasher on the maids night off!

      CSW, consider first that they're starving their brains, as well as their bodies!

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    3. Oh I have been thin and it wasn't what it was cracked up to be!

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  11. Holy Mackerel! These are some ugly get-ups, what the heck? Loving your voice over, somehow you made it less painful!

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    1. Hmmm, mackerel....they forgot to put on a mackerel fascinator alongside all those other weird head ornaments!

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  12. You know I'm just sad that my favourite Miranda Kerr didn't make the cut this year. Please spare a thought for her pain....

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    Replies
    1. She was the lucky one!

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    2. Sulky - you have completely outed her and scuppered her chance to mince about to ensnare her second husband!! Meow.

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  13. Thanks for the laugh, now off to source the garments for look 3 x

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    Replies
    1. Yes - there a few open months in next year's calendar so you can recreate that look! x

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  14. Yikes!! Talk about pandering to the lowest common denominator and making the ugliest outfits possible to get attention. Your commentary is hilarious!

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    1. Who on earth is the stylist? I need to google them and put them on a shame website or something!

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  15. The likable thing about these shows is the pure intellectualism!

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    1. Oh Laoch - I would love to know your true thoughts! :)

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    2. I believe in freedom, even if the end product is not filled with élan. So while I do not find this show to have any panache, I think it is fine, generally.

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    3. fair dues - i am just surprised that a brand with an enviable marketing and styling budget only came up with this...There have been some great fun shows in the past dare I say!

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  16. For some odd reason, the show is reminiscent of J.Crew's recent sweater line. Is this where creative direction has headed?

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    1. I think there s an element of the emperors clothes and people are just getting lazy!

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  17. If there's going to be a fight-back bloggers underwear catwalk please can I wear a vest?

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    1. Only if it's multicoloured with emoticons on it!

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  18. Seriously, was there anything " normal " shown?

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    1. Are you telling me you don't wear a smiley face on your stomach??

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  19. Victoria Secret always deliver! xo Caroline
    Ps, I´ve changed blog name and address.

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  20. This article is so funny! VS angels must have so much pression to be perfect for this runaway!!!
    xoxo

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  21. @Caroline, like the new name x

    @Gloria yes they are unde all sorts of pressure and looking good was made a little harder due to one odd outfits! X

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  22. :D You know I've been thinking the same thing - who styles this show??? Some of the combinations are just crazy ugly and just crazy... And I agree, those models work their asses off and don't eat or whatever and then they cover them up with something atrocious. Why the f*ck would they do that???

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  23. @slapdashmama it was comical!

    @Peet I must get the name of the "stylists" because I want to know who to stay away from!!

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  24. Funniest BLOG evaaa...!! Mm M

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