I think we have at one time or another experienced choice fatigue and decision fatigue.
Via |
Maybe it was your first time at Starbucks?
Half and half, decaf, semi-skimmed, soy, coffee faff.
Don't worry we all held up the queue the first time we went too.
Mr CSW thought he was going on a carefree vacation when we did a driving trip circling America;
until we had to order breakfasts.
In the UK, the land of the supposed eccentrics,
choice applies to voting, how you dress and how you take your tea. ( Mind you even then, your birth has a lot to do with it but that's another post.)
Otherwise, you eat what you are given.
Via |
Now for those living in North America,
this is au fait for you but not for the rest of the world.
So at our first breakfast across the pond when he ordered sausages and eggs on toast, he was asked naturally,
"How would you like your eggs?"
* He looked to me for assurance even though he was the one eating them so I looked down at the menu as I like to see him squirm *
Fried? He questioned her back.
Without skipping a beat, she reeled off,
"Sunny side up, both sides, runny or well done in the middle?"
"Sunny side up, both sides, runny or well done in the middle?"
He answered but took more than the
customary polite time allocated to respond.
Just when he thought it was all over,
"What kind of toast would you like?"
"Just whatever comes."
"Whole wheat, white, wonder bread, 7 grain, whole grain,
sour dough, bagel, muffin?
Mr CSW's expression. |
I saw his brain start throbbing and it took a good week before he could order a la Americain.
I am also currently being inundated with numerous choices to make and am feeling very similar.
Now real life choosing isn't like dreaming up your list of things to do and buy if you won the lottery.
My head is in such a state and I have been so physically tired of late through the sheer amount of choosing at hand.
I was curious to see if this was just psychosomatic or if choosing was burning up extra glucose in the brain.
Through the Kavli foundation that studies the brain and the science of choice, it has been confirmed that my cortexes are indeed on overdrive.
As L'oreal would say - Here's the science bit.
Research is revealing how neurons code the value of different options
when people make decisions.
These MRIs show brain areas whose activities increased according to how much human subjects valued the option they chose between two different alternatives researchers presented to them. (Credit: Daeyeol Lee)
Choice / decision fatigue is a valid medical condition.
( Please click on the link if you want to read more about it - this NY Times article is rather interesting.)
But don't tell the National Health Service just yet.
Nowadays, we are in the age where not so much your physical things but your choices seem to have so much gravitas.
Every decision seems so pivotal.
It's like one's everyday is the real life version of those books we all read in childhood where you chose which door to go into.
One door lead to an oasis and the other one always lead to a goblin!
I was thinking that one of the main reasons that I choose the
Mayr Clinic in Austria as a holiday choice over the conventional destinations in the Med is partly because of the lack of choice.
The luxury there isn't the injections nor the medical care but actually it is the very liberating condition of everything having been chosen for you. You just have to turn up and half the job is done.
All I gotta do is chew.
I think that is the reason why so many politicians also frequent the Mayr. So much time and energy is saved by freeing up the brain to compute other things.
But for those who don't have the time nor inclination to read the article, I leave you with this quick important synopsis.
Without getting all socio-political and this is just sharing remember...
There are studies that demonstrate the reason why people in poverty tend to make bad financial decisions is due to sheer fatigue and worry depleting a proper strong mental base to calculate.
But this also affects those of all socio-economic groups.
Making choices wears down your mental fortitude that after a session of intense decision making, your defenses are down and you acquiesce and agree to things you might not have done before the brainstorm. So for instance, what color lipstick, what material coat, what leather seat in your car are little tricks to weaken your core mental strength.
A lot of marketing depends on this very foil.
Which explains why I would never have let my builder choose my bathroom wares a few months ago but now if you see pictures of my bathroom in a future post,
any credit or critique should be aimed at him!
PS I thought I was going to make this a no comment post so all you busy people could just read and go on your daily routine once in a while but I messed up and while I was looking for the removal of comments as this is my first time, I got rid of Lee Sinden's comments. Sorry Lee, I will do it next time but before I hit publish!
PS I thought I was going to make this a no comment post so all you busy people could just read and go on your daily routine once in a while but I messed up and while I was looking for the removal of comments as this is my first time, I got rid of Lee Sinden's comments. Sorry Lee, I will do it next time but before I hit publish!
I read a great book once wherein the hero got tired of deciding things so he used dice to make all of his future decisions, which led to some interesting experiences.
ReplyDeleteI got one of those dice for Mr CSW but I am intrigued by the consequence of decisions in general.
DeleteOh was That Diceman or something like that? I loved that book.
DeleteVery interesting. I need to have more patience with MrBP as he likes me to make all the decisions in our life and I get pissed off even though he actually tells me he has too many decisions all day and his brain hurts. Now I feel guilty!
ReplyDeleteI get peeved to so much so I point blank ask him to choose and we both try and throw the responsibility to the other. But don't feel guilty! It was just interesting to see that there had been so many studies about this topic which I didn't know about either.
DeleteDani, yes hubs is always saying that his brain is full, he has breakdown over minor food choices, like, cream or milk in your coffee? I can see hear his rusty cogs going round.
DeleteFascinating read and explains a lot about my life in recent years. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThe links were great reads and I tried to include at least three if you ent to read further. I thought it made so much sense.
DeleteNo wonder that I frequently suffer from analysis paralysis!
ReplyDeleteYep, choice fatigue and anaysis paralysis is your brain working out!
DeleteI couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteI have the most trouble picking clothes to put in a suitcase
Choice is why I have a closet full of clothes and not a thing to wear.
I would make school uniforms compulsory up until university for that reason! Choosing can be time consuming which is why I always choose outfits to important outfits in advance otherwise I'd be late.
ReplyDeleteoh I am so bossy, I do not mind choice one little bit, though I shy away from it from time to time, worried that I seem, well, bossy...
ReplyDeleteDon't you know Wendy, being bossy is just another term for alway being right, about everything?
DeleteI don't mind being bossy but just wish Mr CSW wouldn't question my decision! That's the hard bit, it really has put me off any idea of being a decorator. If I had a client like him which there must be I would fire them!
DeleteToo many choices make me nuts. It is counter productive for the simple life I'm trying to achieve.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to streamline as well!
DeleteI'm off to read the links, but I tend to be ok with decisions, as is Mr AV - we just go with our first gut instinct , it's questioning everything that causes the problems, and something I've noticed time and again with clients - it always works out and they can't remember why they were spending so much time stressing over it all. Once I've made a decision I don't go back and question it again. Key example - I chose the counter top stuff for the kitchen, looked at it last week in slab form and didn't really like it. I thought vaguely about whether to get them to order something else in, but decided it would be ok most likely and I didn't hate it so it would be ok. It's been installed and I love it. I could've wasted a lot of time and angst energy worrying about it, to have arrived at the same end result.
ReplyDeleteYou just need to pick something and move on. If it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world. xx
I am normally super decisive but now I m married it seems I have to consider someone else's opinion bu the problem is Mr CSW is soooo indecisive so it makes any decision take a lot longer than I would like and it drives me crazy. No other way to put it gently. I think he used to make a lot of decisions at work which crippled his decision making neocons shot so for him he thinks decisions have way more mpact and he doesn't ent o get it wrong whereas I am laissez
DeleteiPad blocked me. Yes I am l faire. But I must remind him that light choices aren't that grave a matter! Xx
DeleteOh so interesting! I used to have a love/hate relationship with my school uniform...but, mostly it was secret love. It also gets to me that no one seems to want to make decisions in my house..."Anything you choose is fine?" Ummm, yes, but could you relieve me of it sometimes? I don't always want to choose what's for dinner, where we are going to stay, how we're going to get there....Phew! That feels better! Thanks for leaving the comments open, I needed to let that out! :)
ReplyDeleteYes dinner time is an issue that I have gone on choosing stand offs with mine as well... Men do like to switch off at home don't they?
DeleteGreat post !. I find to much choice can be stressful.. e.g I'd like to buy a coat - in store - rack after rack, all very similar - still can't find one I like. Choice overload!
ReplyDeleteYep, which is why I am going to get super organised with all my things when unpacked!!
DeleteFascinating! Thanks! However, I'm afraid that understanding the physiology still won't make me any less impatient with Himself.
ReplyDeleteToo true!! Now off to find how to cure impatience...
DeleteI have no opinions of my own, and like fluffy kittens...
ReplyDeleteThis Public Service Announcement from the BBC will help ease the harridan trauma of over thinking.
Look, listen, and take heed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w
I am out having me coffee but will have a look when I get back home!
DeleteThat is hilarious! I do love that show so much.
DeleteBut scary thing Curator is that in some parts of the world and dare I say here as well I have myself encountered this not so long ago...I was single for a very long time due to not only liking kittens!
Oh that made me laugh Curator!
DeleteIt's good to know that choice/decision fatigue is REAL. I have it in spades. You may understand this; whenever we returned from a posting in a less developed (commercially speaking) part of the world to somewhere like New York, our heads would simply spin with the decision of buying a loaf of bread in a supermarket. The choice was exhausting. And, I so remember that breakfast scenario, especially the first time I encountered 'sunny side up'...who knew there was such a thing!!!
ReplyDeleteYes it is real. I think that is why New Yorkers are so wired - when I lived there and never ever cooked I would have about 30 leaflets of delivery places to choose from!! Yes Mr CSW decided overeasy was his preference :)
DeleteWhen I'm stressed I've been known to go hungry just because I couldn't decide on what sandwhich to make, I always keep my life as simple as possible, I love routine as it leaves out decision making.
ReplyDeleteI used to sneer at routine but now I am becoming a true convert!
DeleteSo cute, your Mr CSW story. For me, it's where to eat in a city, such endless choice.
ReplyDeleteThere's a good book called "The Art of Choosing" by Sheena Iyengar, who is a blind Columbia business professor; I got it for my indecisive daughter. What are the costs exacted by the choice itself?
You are brave to let your contractor make decisions for you-- hope you love the result!
Yes most Europeans have the same experience at diners :)
DeleteI will check out that book for sure and it might end up in someone's xmas stocking - thanks for the tip! Yes I am brave but also am beyond caring about aesthetics I just want it to work...
You get this choice fatigue when you're remodeling too and then you regret all those decisions made wearily ever more. Apparently you should always go with your first gut instinct but then I can never remember what that was after I've spoken to a thousand friends to get their input. I am horrific to go out to dinner with - I always choose roast chicken as I'm so worried about not getting enough food with the seafood choice
ReplyDeleteI do listen to my gut but the problem is getting agreement in a partnership! The extra variable increases the permutation twofold!
DeleteYour poor husband! The article explains the immense comfort I find in routine. I'm chiseling away at my tendency to overthink some decisions. That may be the project of a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteYes I am going to try and develop a routine myself next year. I live quite spontaneously and don't like to plan but I think I might enjoy it after this frazzled time!
ReplyDeleteMy days can be hideously hectic if a delayed project arrives just as I've accepted something else, and I don't do well working into the small hours for days on end. Having constants amid the swirl of change seems to provide calm---even when I've agreed to help put some publication to bed and someone insists on changing things at that very late date.
DeleteSo develop a few routines, and for attaining mutual agreement with Mr. CSW, try the trick of feigning supreme confidence as you present your selections. I read somewhere that's what Anna Wintour did right from the beginning when she hadn't a clue. Even if she wasn't sure, she made her choice and never looked back. But she may have had a Newhouse or two in her back pocket, and now everyone is afraid of her. Perhaps not the best example but still a good method. Good luck!
Yes! Air of September confidence is key! I think I am trying to be too collaborative with someone who doesn't know what they want anyway! Thanks for that and forgive me in future if I come across all snooty ;)
DeleteHah, so true!! Great post! I would love it if I had a day where all the decisions were made for me by some kind and thoughtful benefactor. I have said many times to my husband that there are many days when my head hurts trying to make all these adult decisions - mortgages! buying a car! paying for school tuition! and on and on.
ReplyDeleteYes and deciding to make which decision is great fun?! But I am going on decision strike after this!
DeleteGreat post! I learnt lots of things about decisions and fatigue :-)
ReplyDeletexoxo
Very few people know that we make decisions before we actually realise we've made them. It's now been documented and researched by many different organisations and institutions around the globe.
ReplyDeleteProblem is, the advertising world knows far too much about how to manipulate your mind in those precious moments. Neuromarkeers are taking diabolical liberties with your squishy grey and white bits!
For the science bit try NewScientist,
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn23367-brain-imaging-spots-our-abstract-choices-before-we-do.html#.UoTJc41Tg6k
Or for something lighter and a bit easier to digest, one of my adlib.co reports on neuromarketing.
http://www.adlib.co/2012/01/08/ghost-in-the-machine-2/
ooh, love neuroscience behind the play dynamics... i will definitely read up on those links - thanks so much curator! you need to at least blog these links!
Deletea Most interesting Post!
ReplyDeleteand agreed with mr csw.
when we moved to L.A (the first time), we left the supermarket in shock when trying to buy milk - the choices stretched throughout one ENTIRE AISLE in about 4 fridge units (the big ones).
too much.
now of course it's non-fat and organic and from trader joe's and we're good to go.
tell me about it!
Deletethe choice in america is like nothing else. i wish we had traders joes here tho i do think english supermarkets balance the choice very well out of all the supermarkets i have been to in the world.
there's nothing like a good Waitrose in the Shires though for a lovely Wensleydale (and we were ever so excited to pop into the co-op in whitstable last week and gaze at the lovely english things - just a few - on a shelf - no marketing, shelf wobblers or even lined up straight ;-)
DeleteFirstly, I love the first image and the caption! Too much choice and I struggle making a decision but sometimes I find going with my initial reaction is often the best thing to do. This is particularly the case with restaurant menus! Buying the bigger things such as cars and houses however is a different case altogether and then it's sometimes a list of pros and cons!!
ReplyDeletehttp://missbbobochic.blogspot.co.uk/
yes but how does one reconcile two different gut instincts? that is partly the issue. i can just whip thru but mr csw raises the questions...sigh. but most american menus are like russian novels!!
DeleteI enjoyed reading this one!
ReplyDeleteUsually I have no problems choosing whatever.
But, choosing the wallpapers for every room many years ago in a haste, when there were/ are SO many to choose from, exhausted me totally.
So, I practically ordered all the wallpapers from one example book and obviously made a good choice, as we still have the same ones ( 1997 ).
No difficulty in choosing the kitchen cabinets, but I had a woman over to take the measurements and place the final order.
No difficulties at the groceries either, as I dislike the idea of entering a grocery store. My hb buys our food.
Thanks Mette. I am actually fine with decisions overall but I find making decisions especially in a group more work and Mr CSW isn't as decisive as me so I worry about the ramifications of a decision is all! I always ask him to tell me what we have for dinner. I say I can cook it but just tell me what!
DeleteHey that's not fair that you are taking a choice away from us to comment or not to comment, but I guess it is your blog lol.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how many things are running around in my head, but I bought that on myself when I decided to set up a business and be the sole decision maker in determining my income, on top of that I'm trying to fit exercise in, fit friends in, fit evening clients in, fit all my TV programmes in, fit in reading blogs, fit in writing blogs, fit in shopping all of which involves making decisions that I could rather much do without..... my head feels like it is going to explode. Thank goodness I don't have to think about a husband and children and their needs as well!! x