Tatler January 2017 and December 2016 issues

I stopped subscribing to Tatler for years and only read it at the salon until last year when I realised that they had brought back the tongue in cheek and British humour that it had back in the 90's.

 That was the decade that brought you the IT girl who had everything but internet connection.

But who is she?

Back then people thought you were a bit self obsessed if you  used eye cream before  the age of 30.

The good old days -  yes, that applies even to things like the narcissistic index of socialites.

The cover girl who naturally had an editorial inside the issue is...

Now get this Andy Warhol,

 if you're reading this, 

she is on the periphery of quasi famous by virtue of having dated someone famous.

But most Londoners would just know her as their plastic surgeon's daughter.

She is the sister of Suki Waterhouse, 

who if she hadn't been on the arm or beard

 ( depends who you are asking ) of Bradley Cooper, 

would be another private school educated girl hanging about town.

In fact, she does look like most girls hanging about west London skiving off school.

I  like it when Tatler gets a young British  beauty who is a friend of a friend of someone in the editorial team to pose for the jewellery  feature.

Isn't she a beauty? 

Great bone structure, skin, hair, and colouring.

So refreshing.

Gosh, it seems one of the effects of selfies is that no one streaks anymore.

It's true.

Think about it.

When is the last sports match you saw that had a streaker?

People would miss it because they would be preoccupied with taking selfies anyway.

This is an arbitrary photo of a chicken with a tiara.

There was a  gazillion page editorial about this girl who has a long backstory but I couldn't be bothered enough to even read about it.

But while I am sharing.

Tatler did its British dolce vita propagation with a gorgeous family with a country home complete with horses and dogs.

Not my idea of dolce vita but then if it were the British countryside would be crowded so it all works out.

I can't think of anything further removed from the British countryside than Gucci.

And yet it was the backdrop to its ad campaign.

I love the picture of the two ladies because their lack of intimacy  and disconnection just seems like a family portrait of a  grandmother disapproving of her granddaughter who better marry well because she won't be included in the will.

I love this picture. 

But not for the fashion element.

It just seems like it was a photo taken with some anecdote told during a monthly editor's meeting.

"Oh mummy told me that when Camilla and Charles were dating, he told her to  go and slip on something sexy and she came back with a slip  over her jumper!"

Sounds like something Camilla would do too.

Diamonds go with everything  -  including tartan.

This is a purely British thing that I laugh about mostly because 

I am not a local so local cultural eccentricities entertain me 

as much  as bowing in Japan amuses westerners.

Don't know if you know but the word "toilet" is considered a bit  naff by some in the U.K.

I don't know why but I have a feeling it is the disdain of any word derived from French which is odd because chances are they would be of Norman stock.

Pronouncing restaurant  -  restaurang  - is also very naff. 

That applies to even French people pronouncing it that way while speaking English.

I personally like loo bc it is quick and  easy to say and 
bathroom seems like an elaborate charade to mask the real reason why you are leaving the  room/table.

The only other time I took this subject seriously was when Oprah  did a special about what to do if you get abducted.

I  don't read the horoscopes much anymore after Jonathan Cainer died.

I liked how equivocal he was and how everyone's horoscope seemed to apply to everyone.

It was always positive and good old fashioned sense.

But I know some who think the Tatler horoscopes are a reasonable replacement.

 

 Russia is in the news a lot lately.

But let's talk about fun Russian stuff.

There is an instagram hero ( Tatler's words not mine ) 

who uses her fame to fight a few noble causes she can while she bares her bum and all that pole dancing doesn't go in vain.

There is another Russian who has been in the social media /publicity circuit.

He is a Russian who immigrated to the U.K. after making a fortune and has fashioned himself as a quintessential British country gent.

He has even had a BBC documentary about him and his home.

He works his PR team hard. 

He also has a company with his namesake, Leon Max.

I just remember from the BBC show that his fellow Russian wife didn't really appreciate the huge country house and running it.

I  think she would be happy with a 2 bed flat in Knightsbridge.

She should speak with Melania and give her tips on how to handle getting a poisoned chalice one never dreamed about as a little girl because all she probably wanted was the usual monetary trinkets but none of this responsibility that has legacy attached to it.