Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Tatler January 2017 and December 2016 issues

I stopped subscribing to Tatler for years and only read it at the salon until last year when I realised that they had brought back the tongue in cheek and British humour that it had back in the 90's.
 That was the decade that brought you the IT girl who had everything but internet connection.

But who is she?
Back then people thought you were a bit self obsessed if you  used eye cream before  the age of 30.
The good old days -  yes, that applies even to things like the narcissistic index of socialites.

The cover girl who naturally had an editorial inside the issue is...

Now get this Andy Warhol,
 if you're reading this, 
she is on the periphery of quasi famous by virtue of having dated someone famous.

But most Londoners would just know her as their plastic surgeon's daughter.
She is the sister of Suki Waterhouse, 
who if she hadn't been on the arm or beard
 ( depends who you are asking ) of Bradley Cooper, 
would be another private school educated girl hanging about town.
In fact, she does look like most girls hanging about west London skiving off school.

I  like it when Tatler gets a young British  beauty who is a friend of a friend of someone in the editorial team to pose for the jewellery  feature.
Isn't she a beauty? 
Great bone structure, skin, hair, and colouring.
So refreshing.

Gosh, it seems one of the effects of selfies is that no one streaks anymore.
It's true.
Think about it.
When is the last sports match you saw that had a streaker?
People would miss it because they would be preoccupied with taking selfies anyway.

This is an arbitrary photo of a chicken with a tiara.

There was a  gazillion page editorial about this girl who has a long backstory but I couldn't be bothered enough to even read about it.
But while I am sharing.

Tatler did its British dolce vita propagation with a gorgeous family with a country home complete with horses and dogs.

Not my idea of dolce vita but then if it were the British countryside would be crowded so it all works out.

I can't think of anything further removed from the British countryside than Gucci.
And yet it was the backdrop to its ad campaign.

I love the picture of the two ladies because their lack of intimacy  and disconnection just seems like a family portrait of a  grandmother disapproving of her granddaughter who better marry well because she won't be included in the will.

I love this picture. 
But not for the fashion element.
It just seems like it was a photo taken with some anecdote told during a monthly editor's meeting.
"Oh mummy told me that when Camilla and Charles were dating, he told her to  go and slip on something sexy and she came back with a slip  over her jumper!"
Sounds like something Camilla would do too.

Diamonds go with everything  -  including tartan.

This is a purely British thing that I laugh about mostly because 
I am not a local so local cultural eccentricities entertain me 
as much  as bowing in Japan amuses westerners.
Don't know if you know but the word "toilet" is considered a bit  naff by some in the U.K.
I don't know why but I have a feeling it is the disdain of any word derived from French which is odd because chances are they would be of Norman stock.
Pronouncing restaurant  -  restaurang  - is also very naff. 
That applies to even French people pronouncing it that way while speaking English.
I personally like loo bc it is quick and  easy to say and 
bathroom seems like an elaborate charade to mask the real reason why you are leaving the  room/table.

The only other time I took this subject seriously was when Oprah  did a special about what to do if you get abducted.

I  don't read the horoscopes much anymore after Jonathan Cainer died.
I liked how equivocal he was and how everyone's horoscope seemed to apply to everyone.
It was always positive and good old fashioned sense.
But I know some who think the Tatler horoscopes are a reasonable replacement.

 Russia is in the news a lot lately.
But let's talk about fun Russian stuff.
There is an instagram hero ( Tatler's words not mine ) 
who uses her fame to fight a few noble causes she can while she bares her bum and all that pole dancing doesn't go in vain.

There is another Russian who has been in the social media /publicity circuit.
He is a Russian who immigrated to the U.K. after making a fortune and has fashioned himself as a quintessential British country gent.
He works his PR team hard. 
He also has a company with his namesake, Leon Max.
I just remember from the BBC show that his fellow Russian wife didn't really appreciate the huge country house and running it.
I  think she would be happy with a 2 bed flat in Knightsbridge.
She should speak with Melania and give her tips on how to handle getting a poisoned chalice one never dreamed about as a little girl because all she probably wanted was the usual monetary trinkets but none of this responsibility that has legacy attached to it.


  1. I really enjoy your blog and wit/humor. Dry is best. Don't stop!

  2. My dentist gets this magazine, I believe the Taipei Tatler edition, but I never looked at it much because it seems mostly for women. But aren't toilet and loo both French euphemisms for what doesn't really have a base word in English? "Excuse me" is all that is really necessary.

    1. I should have remembered that you are right loo is derived from French. But you are absolutely right and you have just suggested the perfect phrase to use too Jim!!

  3. Skivvy under slip? PTSD from the mid-90s.

  4. I wish I lived in a kilt wearing land. They really are the best delivery for tartan as patterned pants can be so annoying. Don't you wish you could have lunch with Melania in an untapped room and ask her what she really thinks? I thought she looked so gorgeous on New Year's Eve. I forget what scandal was dominating the news that day but they kept showing her. I don't like toilet or loo or water closet. i don't know if this dreadful term abounds outside the US but I also hate "little boy's/girl's room". Of course that might fall out of favor as there are more and more genders. Always love your magazine reviews!

    1. Have you watched Outlander? Has done wonders for the tartan and oddly they are so masculine! People's brains gets so muddled with prejudice that one can hardly say Melania is gorgeous without some political issue and I'm like - dude, I'm talking about her dress... Some Europeans are funny about bathroom bc they take it literally and ask why you are taking a bath during dinner if their English is eurotrash level!

  5. I could go on for days about English/British snobs and their "keen zest to be well bred" as Anthony Blanche says speaking for Evelyn Waugh in Brideshead esp those dangling tenously on the fringes of the Aristocracy who seek out Americans to coddle their insecurities while feigning British Reserve. They never have anything interesting or authentic to offer only 'keenly zestful' recitations of those tired plummy phrases (see Grant, Hugh).

    1. GSL - you are right about their obsession. Funny thing is I don't see how it really impacts one's life so while amusing is time consuming for something that comes to naught. Speaking of Hugh Grant - hasn't he gone awfully quiet but then again he has invested so well so he doesn't have to do movie trunk tours which he seems to abhor.

    2. I actually have to give him high marks on his latest performance opposite Meryl Streep in Florence Foster Jenkins which may have gotten him lifted as Den Whipping Boy although we are considering replacing HG with John Oliver and granting Grant (!) Emeritus status.

    3. I just googled the movie bc that passed me by completely but then again i don't worship Meryl Streep for more than a very competent actress. We don't get John Oliver over here on regular channels so I don't know him that well but he is too London to represent the UK to be fair.

    4. I have never been a fan of MS or HG but both were superb in FFJ with major credit going to director Stephen Frears I believe as he reigned in their overweening tendencies.
      My opera buddy, Terry Drama, has been clamoring for me to watch it with him since it came out. About 15 years ago, TD & lifepartner introduced me to the real FFJ as they own an original recording of her Carnegie Hall Massacre of Queen of the Night.

    5. .. I laughed so hard I tore rib cartilage.

  6. I only wish I'd picked up a copy on my way home last week, instead I grabbed House & Garden and Country Life. Enjoyed the summary very much though, thanks.

    Mr. Max should be aware that if he truly wants to fashion himself as "a quintessential British country gent" he should ditch the second log basket. I suspect it is there for the sake of appeasing his symmetry OCD, don't you think?

    1. They are great though I find H&G is starting to be a little safe with the new editor. You do have eagle eyes bc I only just noticed after you told me! But you must try and find the show on youtube - it was rather entertaining and I know you would enjoy it!

  7. So much in this mag. Find it funny some are offended by "toilet". We have several sayings for the crapper...note to self, must use every saying while in London. The looks should be interesting. I also love the pic of the lady in the robe? and the walking dead, feed me please chicklet.

    1. I find it really funny and love the just bc shots like the chicken with the tiara - kinda like the garden and gun mags you sent me but the Pommie version. Can't wait for you to come and laugh at the cultural differences!!

  8. Thanks so much for this review! It was worth it for the chook in the tiara alone!

    Stay wonderful x

  9. PS this copy of Tatler is $24 here which is 12 pounds.

    I suppose they flew it out first class with its own team of servants and PR people in attendance.

    1. 24$? gee whiz - i will do these for you in the future FF! xx

  10. I love Tatler. But I love your summary even more! I'm always partial to their animals in jewels. Fabulous stuff!

  11. So funny that Tatler has reverted to tongue in cheek - and love the observation about streakers. Hadn't missed them but now I do. They used to liven up boring cricket matches. Will definitely not be spending $24 on it - can usually rely on BA Business Class long haul flights to provide a Tatler. Probably only need two a year (one on the way north, the next issue on the way home. I find the Tat a bit of a yawn usually - but always enjoy your observations on the mags. Wonderful how Vanessa Redgrave is getting a run as a brand model in her 80s, it must be! Have been trying to be careful not to diss Meryl just now (not really difficult for me - as I've been quite a fan - think she's been so good in so many films) - especially since Trump's attack following her address at the GGs. Have noticed that quite a few people have taken the opportunity to have a bit of a dig at her since. Think she was very brave and has put herself at risk (not so much from Trump as from some of his more demented followers). Pammie

    1. Isn't the streaking thing now obsolete? Ah the good old days eh, Pammie?!

    2. FYI, 2 male streakers ran across the grounds from opposite ends of the cricket ground (SCG) just a couple of days ago. ( Can't believe I'm providing streaker updates but there you have it.) Den xx

    3. Thats hilarious! It would have been such a laugh for everyone there too xx

  12. Is that a Van Cleef & Arpels ring on that chicken's head? And if it is, God, I am good at ID'ing their stuff. They need to hire me ha ha. Oh, btw, I also knew GSL would chime in re Hugh Grant. He needs to stand by, Hugh is gonna get an Oscar nom for 'Florence Foster Jenkins.' Won't he despise him even more then hee hee hee xx


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