Sunday 20 July 2014

Blog Reshuffle and Manifesto

I've been blogging for about a year and a half now which is equivalent to dog years in blogland.

  Even though I set up my account years before I actually started, 
I didn't have the energy or confidence to blog.  

I went into blogging blind.
I didn't "know" anyone but these people below.
  
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I didn't have an agenda nor do I now.


I didn't dream of becoming a star through blogging nor view this as a money making exercise. Although I have nothing against those who do monetize their blogs.

I don't know what prompted me to write other than simple expression and an itch.

This might be quite apparent through the eyes of experienced bloggers and blog readers as I don't have a niche.
 
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I am not a mommy blogger nor a corporate climbing ladder tip sharer.

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I am neither a fashionista selfie blogger nor a crafty before and after furniture makeover guru.


I am not thin enough to set myself as an aspirational woman nor am I fat enough to have a chunky following.

I am not young enough to blog about disastrous dates and the angst of youth nor old enough to join the menopausal brigade. 

It is a wonder I have any readers at all.

When I first started I didn't know anything whatsoever so if anyone told me you would forge internet friendships I would have raised my eyebrows.  But alas I have and perhaps that is what keeps me plogging ( blog + plod ) on.  But what I have noticed in the last 18 months is the inner shift that has happened that I only just realized yesterday.

I was reading a post on One can't get over the habit of being a girl all at once written by our ever engaging and cheery Wendy when I realized that a topic that would have been a standard dinner party topic seemed so edgy on blogland and I was worried for her for the possible deluge of negative comments.

After I sat back and reflected, I realized how slowly I have become apprehensive to write about certain things because someone out there might misconstrue it and write either a comment that I would have to repudiate or reply to a puffy email. 

 I was starting to restrain from commenting on some blogs because my unedited stream of consciousness quickly typed words might be read differently from my intention.  I also don't like laboured writing with too much forethought ( some of you may have noticed!) so if I have to think about what to comment then I prefer not to say anything.

In my blogging time I have been naive at times and not realized  that people don't know me and the context in which I say things.  
I have had and seen other people be unjustly maligned and misinterpreted by their posts or comments.  
I was finding that aspect a bit tedious.

But I have rejigged my brain and decided that I should be freer.
That was one of the reasons why I blogged in this parallel space was for polite but honest expression without worrying about the opinions of real life friends.

Blogging does seem to bring out unexpected reactions both positive and negative in both cyberspace and in real life which I won't expand on today.
But I suppose there is nothing one can do that one can be free of criticism so you might as well do what you like.

I appreciate my readers and fellow blogger mates more than I ever expected to. 
It is lovely to be read and have discussions.  
I feel so lucky to have a growing readership.  
However, I won't be the one to chase blogging stats.

If I did then this blog would be very different.

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 It would consist only of filtered pictures of candles, macaroons, and the Eiffel Tower.

Or if I was really pushing viewing stats I could just post pictures of boobies and puppies.
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Don't get me wrong I am not going to get all divisive and politically fundamental.
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I won't be mean spirited but you may not always like what I have to say.  But I will try and be honest in a way that I would be if I met you at a friend's dinner party.  I will give you an opinion that may differ to yours but be polite and open to discussion.

And like real life conversations you have with your friends, 
you may not relate to my topic du jour. 
Not all chats are going to be funny or interesting. 
They may be hum drum and just catching up talks.

While I love my real life friends, I can't speak about all my various interests with just one person.
I have a friend who I can chat about the intricacies of fashion but not interiors.  The friend who I can chat to about politics; another who understands the nuances of London life and its social stereotypes.

So I will be treating this more like a real life chat with a friend.
Please don't expect any huge differences but I have had a little wake up call and will try to be less restrained in my expression and find my blogging voice. 

62 comments:

  1. I read you because you are clever, witty and fucking fabulous darling.
    I am very grateful I got to meander about London with you.
    I always enjoy a discussion, even if I don't necessarily agree.

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    1. Thanks Cilla and wish more people would be open to differing opinions like you are x

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    2. I have to agree!!! Ditto and bravo! I've always appreciated your authenticity Namoi. You are keeping it real. You can post puppies and boobies too-anything is fine! ;)
      xx

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  2. Naomi, I thought you already had a pretty good "blogging voice" ~ don't be too hard on yourself.

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    1. I didn't realize I was editing as much as I do until I was freaking out and worried for Wendy! But I will try Carol - hope you are well x

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  3. Dear Naomi, as a happy follower, will watch with interest as your blog evolves. Your blog voice is already so interesting and authentic and covers such fascinating topics. Can imagine it must take a fair amount of courage to launch forth upon the blog world - have heard from others that they sometimes receive quite cruel or mean or even spooky comments that they have to delete. That would truly scare me so I don't think I'll ever blog. But at least I can follow my favourites (you're one of course) and comment from time to time. Good luck with whatever changes you want to make! I'm sure we'll continue to enjoy. Pammie xx

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    1. Mind you I don't know how it will evolve, I suppose like real life I will write about what interests me at the time. I don't have too many but the oddest posts seem to wind people up and I just needed to learn and realize which I have now done. I wish you would blog though! :) xx

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  4. Well… I certainly know what you're talking about. I worry that I'm writing too many Interiors posts because they are relatively 'safe' - pretty much anything else I write can receive a negative comment, or abusive email. If that is about a design post it doesn't bother me so much as I'm use to handling criticism professionally. It's a little harder when it's a book review, or an outfit, or just general hate as it's personal. I just don't understand why there is so much vitriol aimed at people who write without an agenda (funds from rstyle links or advertising or a book deal or whatever). But you can't please everyone, and you have to just ignore the .05% who do that. xx

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    1. Mind you I love your interior posts but I have seen you unfairly attacked for a completely benign comment and it jolted me. But a few proverbial rotten apples shouldn't spoil the barrel right? I think there is so alarmist having a public opinion these days even though it isn't political per se. But as you say when it is non partisan and just expression one shouldn't let a few naysayers affect our voices. Xx

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    2. Abusive email is beyond the pale Heidi.

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  5. Well written Naomi! I started off writing about finding my fashion mojo in my late 40s, then ended up quitting my job and writing about all kinds of things, the least of which are fashion these days. I wondered about that post yesterday, but it is something happening in my life, so I thought "what the heck". My biggest issue is to be authentic. What I write and say and show is exactly who I am. I probably filtered in the beginning, but it felt fake. While I don't portray everthing in my life, what I do say is what I mean and how things really are for me. You don't seem to me to have a mean bone in your body and I think folks sense that! I love your blog and its diversity.

    Thanks for the kind shout out! I did get some less than happy comments on facebook, but they are from people of another generation and that is life! I think I have only gotten a couple of nasty comments - thus far! - and they are disconcerting. But I realize that in life people are speaking behind your back anyhow if that's what they're like, so I try not to fret about it!

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  6. I have just written a post about this! I'll hold it now, I'll look like a copy cat - blogland is full of those dying to take umbrage at the 'imagined slight'. I was reading a fitness blog yesterday and some one was complaining that the girl's diet (as in meal plan) and her pics were 'triggering' for her - er, then don't read blogs about healthy diet and fitness when you're trying to recover, maybe leave it till you're stronger? Personal responsibility has gone down the crapper.

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  7. Yes I think real life problems filter through to cyberspace as we are all entrenched in it one way or another. But we can't silence opinions that might offend someone. I was surprised at how I reacted to your post and realized how much I changed slowly but surely and at first I wasn't even going to comment but realized it's too important an issue...but I will just write what I write because I can't project and predict what people might like!

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    1. That was in response to @ Wendy.

      @ Tabs I hardly think anyone will think that!! Please post!! Please! I think also most people take narcissism to the nth degree so god forbid that something triggers them. It's like tip toeing around a super sensitive egomaniac. I feel like I should write a disclaimer on some posts saying - it's not about YOU!

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    2. This subject has really been bugging me, I too have been holding myself back, I'll write something and then think, oh no, someone will go off on one now, I constantly tell myself " Blog Like Giles Coren'
      His columns are hilarious and he can be so offensive at times, I love him and may run off with him.
      There is such a lack of a sense of humour in the blogosphere.

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    3. Files is hilarious and he used his anger well! But that is his charm. Most things are offensive to a certain type of person whereas some can see humor in anything. But humor is open to even more misinterpretation unfortunately...

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  8. Miss Naomi
    No, but you are simply one of the best, and for me, that’s good enough…

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  9. Oh, and you always make my day when you post.
    So there!

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  10. Hi Naomi, I wondered too about Wendy's post, but I think that this is a little blogging circle that is appreciative of one another and would disagree politely if necessary, instead of flouncing off in a huff.

    I agree with Anon above - your blog 'voice' is interesting and authentic and I enjoy reading your posts - that's more than enough for me.

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    1. You are right that I have found a great little circle of bloggers but they are the ones who would most commiserate and it's the silent reader that finds the energy to write or a blogger of another complete circle with no references that might sneer. But no matter I am hardly a fundamentalist pundit and I try to find the funny and interesting in life and see how thing tick and click. But thank you for your kind words!

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  11. Oh Naomi, I like you just the way you are, my dear! I think your writing is insightful always, as well as provocative and hilarious, and I love you for it. BTW, I am waiting for your next review of Paris Vogue. Is it out yet? At my local bookstore they only have the Sophie issue that you already reviewed. Keep up the great work! XO, Jill

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    1. Hi Jill, I didn't do a review bc it was nice but nothing to write home about hehe. But I have pinned images from the issue onto my Vogue board on pinterest if you would like to see some images from the issue? It was ok but I think the French were just itching to go on holiday - but I will do the next issue properly just for you ok? xx

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  12. Hi Naomi, you are one of the best bloggers I know! Thanks for posting this manifesto. I think you already have a unique blogging 'voice' and I am looking forward to hearing more of your opinions.

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    1. Thanks Louise, I think it was good timing bc 18 months of blogging does things to your brain! hehe

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  13. Naomi, I love your blog. You are a great writer - whatever the subject. Always make things sound interesting and I like your slightly cynical take on things. Please keep going...Xsue

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    1. I could start trying to be the Oliver Stone of fashion!! No but maybe it's getting older but I can't just simply digest what is expected of consumers to take. Thanks for your kind words and I am loving your pinterest boards by the way! xx

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    2. Thank you, Naomi. I spend too much time on Pinterest when I ought to be working...Xs

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  14. Naomi,

    I loved reading this as I have been going through a phase (since March - time ish) or being a bit apprehensive of what I was writing since I discovered an entire hate site written about me and my blog. At the end of the day I have come around to the fact that I am just a 22 year old girl, photographing life and seeing the sparkle in things I do everyday. I am not forcing anyone to read my blog nor take what I write and do as the "be all and end all" , but my blog is my little piece on the internet to express myself and I've learned so much from it.

    But this all comes back to the nature of human beings, this sense of having to bring people down and castigate them. Like you, I thought maybe I should just write about tea , jam, vegetables or the equivalent to "normal" non-controversial subjects.

    BUttttt then I remembered who *I* am and topics like that simply wouldn't be me and I have no interest in bending myself to other people's perceptions. On the topic of all this I do plan on writing a blog post about my experience with this. And (one final note) even if I just wrote about my weekly shop , I still think that people who are negative would read it however they wanted to read it. There aren't enough people in the world who voice their opinions which I think makes the world of blogging so wonderful, as well as having interactions like this!

    Thank you for writing this post, I fully understand and if anything it has given me an even stronger sense of conviction. I'm going to bookmark this for when I do write my post on blogging experiences ...

    All best,

    India

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    1. India, I know that there has been a steeper learning curve for you earlier this year. I think blogging has made me reassess what an objective reader who knows nothing about me would think of me and my opinions. A lot of things seem to need footnotes and context clue. I did learn a few things though about myself through blogging and criticisms. I can annoyingly question everything! I investigate an issue of Vogue like it is a case on a Swedish murder mystery. But ultimately I can take the mick out of myself and learn from it. But one must stay true to one's essence. I hope you also have had time to reassess and brush yourself and blog afresh. For every person that doesn't like a blog there seems to be people who love it and that applies to everything. Keep seeing the sparkle x

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  15. Go girl! I find you completely charming and have never understood why some people are just assholes. But, they've been around forever and just keep popping up. Learned along time ago that I was not responsible for other peoples happiness and I sure as hell wasn't going to let others ruin my mood...okay, my kids can sometimes get the best of me. Also look forward to your correspondence.

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    1. Yes I am not responsible for their moods and I must remember that. You can try to please everybody but as a friend said to me not everyone even likes chocolate so how the heck can I expect people not to be naysayers. Wish most people had your sense of humour! x

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  16. I am so happy to read your posta because they are just as you describe them. True witty band so funny. Keep up The great wonderful work please! Laura

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  17. What a sensible plan. I've blogged for ages and have just fallen into a strict groove of self protection because I don't want the hate but I love the dinner party chat idea x

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    1. Yes my new mind shift when I post and self protection is pivotal but I have learned I can't please anyone even when being pc so might as well open up a bit! x

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  18. Please don't censor yourself Naomi. The truth is always more interesting. I'm a little guilty bc I know some conservative extended family and old church ladies read my blog. Not sure what they'll make of my lesbian twin going through IVF solo, and possibly needing an egg donor, but this is my story, and at the end of the day there's only a handful of people whose opinions really matter.

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    1. I have to censor a little bit because I can swear and be a total bitch if I truly let go LOL! But your latest post was sincere and of a serious nature that the fundos cant get lost if they say anything!!! And yes ultimately you do your best and those who matter will stand by you.

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  19. love you as you are but will be thrilled to see an honest voice.......but i should talk....am careful on my blog. i have a business, shop, .....and have offended others before who swore never to come back. if i did not have a public place would let loose and let the chips fall
    cheers to you
    debra

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    1. I completely understand which is why I think you should have another anonymous blog :)

      While it would be nice to profit from this hobby I think then I wouldn't be able to say anything which interests me as I don't have a "factual" blog. And funny enough I see certain blogs lose their charm when they go from honest to saying everything is wonderful which then makes you realize they sold out. But as your blog is connected to your business and not the other way around I completely understand how you feel. Thanks for your words Debra

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  20. Leslie in Oregon21 July 2014 at 01:12

    I am not a blogger, so I have not seen any hate mail or abusive comments that a blogger may receive and not publish. Frankly, I have been a bit nonplussed at how unfailingly "nice" the female bloggers I read, and their commenters, are...sometimes to a fault, and sometimes on to the point of vapidness. An authentic voice will cause discussion, and unless the discussers are clones, there will be different points of view. That's what can make human discourse interesting, lively, informative, particularly if the participants make a point of being courteous (not the same as what I mean by "nice") and respectful to each other. I don't get a lot from a blog, or any discussion, that merely mirrors my opinions and inclinations. Some bloggers, though, seem to have rather thin skin and take offense at, or see as criticism, any comment that is not in total agreement with him/her. We all need to learn how to disagree constructively. That it may be difficult to convey humor online makes that more challenging. And if one is a female raised when the "code of nice" limited acceptable female expression, it is all the more difficult. Bravo to you for the times you have spoken, and will speak, openly and with hope, not fear, that your readers will feel free to respectfully disagree with you and each other in the ensuing exchanges. I look forward to more!!

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    1. You bring up a great point. I think that niceness is almost in retaliation to the negativity one gets when one puts oneself out there. Inertia tends not to attract any energy - so in a matter of physics - anything written or done seems to gain attention albeit smaller than others. I was thinking on Sunday that perhaps some of the more vapid blogs are so because they have a lot of stress in their personal lives so it is a way of having a perfect and rose lens prism of an aspired lifestyle. But equally many bloggers succumb to having that sort of blog because that is the type of blogs that tend to get a generic mass following albeit not very loyal and ardent audience. I also have had the experience where a seemingly funny comment was not published because they didn't think it was nice. Some people just don't have a sense of humour and some people have many perceived slights. But I am still finding my way in blogging and musn't let a few negative experiences prevent me from blogging. I also appreciate differing opinions but don't worry I won't get all serious though! :)

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  21. What a refreshing post! And I know exactly what you mean, in real life with my nearest and dearest I often come out with the most outrageous things to get a laugh and my language is ,er , a lot freer, so I definitely rein myself in. I have been blogging a bit longer than you, but like you, I don't have a particular niche, which is fatal if one were trying to build a blog as a brand, but like you, I am not, I enjoy plogging (great new word) and having a space to chunter on about whatever takes my fancies and my Mr Toad like short lived hobbies..here's to plogging!!! P.s. you might like a blog called Godammit I'm Mad, that is a blog that does not pull any punches for fearing of offending and while I don't always agree with her, I really respect that blogger's tell it like it is attitude. xxx

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    1. Thanks for the recommend - always looking for fun blogs! I have seen some blogs about no heels ballerinas and while it is niche I must admit I would quit after a week with such restrictions! But I do love a sense of humour and you have a great one xx

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  22. I guess I am an innocent in the blogging world. I rushed to see what Wendy wrote, read it, and thought why would you be worried about that? On reflection, I could see the possibility for negative backlash, but I suppose I live in a world (probably imagined) where I expect intelligent and reasoned conversation and a willingness to do one's best to understand another person's point of view. So, if you want to express yourself more freely, I'm all ears.

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    1. I think down under it isn't a huge issue but in the States it is humongous - presidential elections always have this as one of the forefront issues and I have never had a discussion in the states that ended well on this topic although not as bad as the Israel/Palestinian issue which is saying something... But I always try and see someone else's point of view and hope most will do the same.

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    2. I think that issue in the states is one of the most divisive and in the top ten issues for an election. But I suppose I had a hard time reconciling my real life rants and being polite and need to balance the two...

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  23. Brilliant! I think your blog is amazing. You have a unique voice. Can't wait to see how it develops. x

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    1. I have no concrete plans so don't expect too much but I hope to be a bit freer in my speech without cursing!! :) x

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  24. Hi. I like reading your posts. I must have lived in a parallel universe as I didn't read any blogs before 18 months ago. 18 months ago, I found Tune into Radio Carly as she wrote an article which helped me deal with real life idiots. Her blog referred to Faux Fuchsia and other blogs. I have enjoyed reading all these blogs and whilst I know some blogs are money spinners, I'm amazed by the generosity of women (usually only women) bloggers who write and post blogs for free. The blogs are organized, well presented, informative and provide different perspectives. I'm sorry you feel you have to censor yourself. I had to give up some printed subscriptions as I didn't have time to read the material but when I discovered blogs( I know living in a parallel universe)I could still stay connected to the world at a time when I was able to read the posts. I've even referred friends to blogs and told the that this one can help you with travelling to honkers etc & as isaid before most write for free. Den

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    1. Hello Den. I am so glad you appreciate that most of us do it for free and for fun so if it isn't fun then we wont do it. I know some who have contemplated quitting due to the bad taste it can bring...But I am tough and getting a thicker skin. But I also didn't know the blogs I follow now until I blogged myself! I feel like I have missed out so much beforehand. Mind you I will still have to censor myself a little bit ;) But thanks for sharing your perspective.

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  25. Well I never for one moment got the impression you were holding back at all with your posts; you do seem to tell it like it is, especially with your reviews of magazines and I think that is fab. I have never been offended by your posts or comments on yours or my blog but like you say, that's maybe because you were holding back lol. Well Naomi, I'm looking forward to all hell breaking loose over on CSW!

    Colleen x

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    1. oh i can't let rip though because then the hate mail would be deserved LOL! xx

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  26. Naomi, I must just say to everyone who reads your blog, what a lovely warm and genuine person you are in real life, as well as in the cyber world. Just be yourself! T'inquiète pas!

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    1. Thanks si je veux! Be myself but with better posture :) x

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  27. Oh yes I know... I have seen that happening to other bloggers I like so much... People who come on their space and start writing hideous comments... Please keep writing! I love coming here.

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  28. Hello Naomi,

    We are rather late in appearing here but we felt compelled to comment as there are so many sensitive and important points which you raise here.

    We began our blog with the goal of writing to amuse ourselves and, as a side issue to record some events in our lives which would have found their way into a diary if we had ever been diary writers, something which we are definitely not. In spite of some rocky times with certain commentators, we have been resolute and stayed largely true to our original goal. We have reached an age we tell ourselves when we really can please ourselves and try to always do just that.

    The Blogosphere is full of writing and imagery, but yours is a unique voice which shines through. It is very clear to us that you have an intelligent, enquiring mind which questions and probes and offers your readers an intriguing and highly individual point of view. You wear this intelligence lightly, often being self-deprecating and injecting a lightness into more serious topics. This is a skilful talent and is what makes your posts such a very good and worthwhile read.

    So, more power to your elbow, dearest Naomi! We have only just found you but we never want to let you go!

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    1. Gosh. I can only say thank you because it seems that even people such as yourselves have been subject to criticism. Mind you I have seen Beethoven get trolled on Youtube so...;)

      But yes I feel I got a bit stifled the past few months and I am glad I have had a wake up call. I was ending up pleasing no one and yet I didn 't know what it would prove to quit either!

      Thank you for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I will follow my stream of consciousness and be myself but still remember my manners. :)

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  29. This is my tenth year and fourth blog with lots if gaps in between. The key takeaway is it has to be you and only do it while it serves you well. You have a terrific online voice and I enjoy your variety of interests. I look forward to reading more!

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    1. Wow - 10th year!!! Bleeding 'eck. You wrote some posts about this and it did resonate with me quite a bit but I didn't fully realize I was not writing as much because of fair. I can't wait till you are back from your break from a greedy selfish perspective!

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