The Newly Burgeoned British Tribes - Brexiteers and Remainians

If you didn't follow the British EU referendum then 

this post won't really mean anything!

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 Instagram on June 24th ( the day after the referendum ) 

when it was mistaken for Twitter

Remanians on Instagram June 24th 7:30 a.m.

A fallen star. Broken dreams.

OMG - so sad. I miss my European compatriots already but I hate 52% of stupid British voters because they have ruined my life.

The Brexiteer on Instagram on June 24th 9:30am

People were like orthodox Jewish mums with 4 children on Xmas day pretending like it was just another day...

Gosh, I wish hydrangea season would last forever!

Thank goodness the sun has come out!

The Neverendum Remainiac Petition Signer

Due to security reasons, this person never used Autofill for forms on their iphone but with all the petitions, they are making an exception.  Just signed 2nd EU referendum petition, the recount of the first referendum results petition, the keep having referendums until we get the result we want petition.  

They also went along and signed the make London its own city state petition but had to begrudgingly stop at the off shoot campaign to make just Zone 1 a British Monaco regime because Richmond is zone 4.  Soooo busy.

The Chattering Classes Remainer

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Their teeth aren't chattering because of their chat but because of Project Fear.

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The Millennial Remainer

They thought that liking the EU Facebook page and trolling UKIP's twitter account would account for something but apparently 1000 likes on Facebook isn't even worth one trip down the polling station. 

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Their new buzz word is political eugenics.   They are so mad that they are not going to speak to their nana and grandpops for ruining their future until they give over a 35% deposit on a flat on a co buy with 4 other flat mates of an ex council flat in north London.  They are devastated that they will now no longer be able to have the option to work for non existent jobs in most of continental Europe and they don't speak German anyway which is the only place to have possible gainful employment in the E.U.  They now drown their sorrows by competing on whose life is more ruined by Brexit on Snapchat.  

The London Luvvie Remained

Don't take too much notice of the sign in their spare bedroom that says guests are like fish and that they stink after three days.  That only applies to their family and closest friends who stay and abide by that rule. Oh no, they love migrants - refugees even better. 

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The pain and misery of the situation makes them feel oddly alive - it is the middle class version of self harm. Scabs on forearms seem to make others uncomfortable no matter how many cups of tea one offered them from experience. 

They also think it is so close minded of all those ill educated and xenophobic people to be scared of Turkey possibly joining the E.U.  It is utterly shameful and if they had their way Iran should be invited to join the E.U. as well.  Think of all that tariff free rose water, pistachios, and pomegranate molasses that they could get for all their third Wednesday night of the month dinner parties!

The No Emotion and Statistic Spewing Brexiter

This persons reply to the Remain campaign political platitude of "Stronger, Better, United" was to reply with 

"Yes that seems rather noble but the overall economic model on which stable societies are based on is fiscally nearly impossible. Look at Italy and its debt of $2 trillion alone with its bond market about to explode.  Italian banks own upwards of $400 billion of sovereign debt.  How are we meant to absolve Italy's 135% debt to GDP ratio? 

And yet as as a net contributor to the EU budget how will the ECB cope? Shall we move on to Greece's finances?"
The question is received by dead silence even by those who plan on voting to leave.

The True Blue Anglo Saxon

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It's not that she doesn't like foreigners. It's that she never liked garlic.  She can't go to anyone's house as they all cook in bleeding olive oil and a fried egg doesn't taste proper unless cooked with lard.  She has pepper, salt, and hp sauce ( for her guests )  in her cupboard. She once had to brush her teeth for days after she had a chorizo roll at her Women's Institute summer barbecue.  She has builders tea, lapsang suchong and earl grey but none of that coffee business and thinks people walking around the high street with paper cups looks ridiculous even if they are 14th generation Yorkshire bred.  She remembers her mother complaining about Elizabeth David when her first cookbook was published and she managed on Mrs Beeton just fine enough.  

The Posh Brexiteer

One can't pigeon hole Etonians on this issue with alumni straddled equally on both sides.  But this is their chance to prove they are patriots and they are willing to sacrifice their wealth on paper and go down 13% in their portfolio when they are next on the Sunday Times Rich List.   They don't mind the vitriol spewed on Leave voters because they are used to being mocked.  There are very few people he can consult with as his muccas are out on the campaign trail and he isn't meant to see his parents in Scotland until the fishing season.  So instead of asking which way he should vote with his folks who he is terribly fond of and does admire - it was ultimately his game keeper who convinced him that a leave vote was the right thing to do.

The Royalist Brexiteer

She knows all the names of all the royals and sends them cards she chooses at the post office.  She always says a little prayer for her majesty and asks that the vicar does a mention for Prince Philip whenever she hears he might be unwell when reading Majesty.
She not only has doilies in her place but has a name for them too so she can remember to put them back in their proper place. 

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She was told by her grandchildren and the Archbishop of Canterbury to vote for Remain but then she saw that the Queen was for Brexit and she is if nothing else a loyal subject.

The 3 Passport owning Brexiter

Speaks to mummy in Dutch, papa in Spanish, eats Italian, schools in French, prays in Latin, talks to their help in English, vacations in Creole, votes British.

You didn't really think I wouldn't write a post about one of the most important political events in our lifetime? ;)