Sunday 15 May 2016

Tales from a London wedding

I do love a wedding.
Even though I was not a bridezilla myself I do enjoy celebrating
and this is one of the few occasions where
my Anglo Saxon inner emotional life doesn't wince at sugary spoken words.


I love London weddings even more because it doesn't consume the whole weekend getting to a country/overseas venue.
But my husband and I are at the age where weddings are not as common an occurrence and going by people's timeline, I must wait for the batch of second marriages to start.


But this weekend we went to a wedding of two first timers that was in a church we walked to from home and more surprisingly which was a first of my husband - 
his first Catholic wedding.

I was raised Catholic and he was raised Greek Orthodox however he went to an Anglican school that required chapel attendance every morning and most of the weddings we have been to have all been Church of England weddings.


The couple were both Catholic via Italian / Irish / Scottish / Iranian roots and the service was held in a wedding mass.

Now this will mean nothing to those who are not familiar with Catholic services.

But I was sitting in the pew with my husband and one of his best friends who is a Hindu Protestant.

Okay let me explain.

His friend was raised in religiously tense Northern Ireland where
people like to know which tribe one belongs to. 
He used to reply he was Hindu.
But the people would further press - aye, but are you Hindu Catholic or Hindu Protestant?
He went to a C of E ( Church of England ) school so he became a HP ( for short ).

The gorgeous couple who really are lucky to have each other
I didn't think much of these slight variations of a mono theistic religion until the wedding mass.

Don't worry it's not one of those posts!

There is a bit where people will shake hands with people around you and one recites,
"Peace be with you."

I offered my hand to my husband and he looked confused and 
I didn't have time to chastise him so I offered my hand and said the peace greeting to his friend who looked at me like I was being odd and said,
" but I already know you."
My husband asked what I was doing.
I had to point out to what other people were doing the same all around us.

Then during the communion bit,
a bell is rung but they whispered that someone should turn their phone off.

The couple also received a special papal blessing and the non Catholics were asking if that was a big deal.  I had to reason with them what they would think if the Dalai Lama wrote in to express his wishes on their wedding...
 
But I had to laugh at the religious culture differences!


I also love the red London buses that some wedding parties will use to usher their guests to the next venue.

It is so much fun as the people on the streets and cars that 
we drive by honk their horns and start waving.


We drove past a cricket game whose appeal is so foreign to me.
But I think it has more to do with an all day excuse for drinking.

The reception was held at one of the orangeries.


Then we could either walk or take one of those trains to another orangery for dinner.


We chose to walk as the weather was perfect.

The irises were on top Chelsea Flower show standard form.
The lighting was perfect for the wedding photos.
I do wish I had more weddings to attend this year.
I might start pestering my single friends so I have a few more parties to go to!

56 comments:

  1. I too love weddings...and the receptions!
    For some reason I always shed a tear...I think it is so lovely when two people commit their lives to each other.
    Kew Gardens as the venue!! I am envious!

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    1. I love comparing the food at different weddings! and the dresses of course :) The bride was stunning and I have to say Kew Gardens was a magical setting!

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  2. ha ha, I love that red bus. I can't say I would have one myself if I were to get married but I can see the appeal. I would expect it has been thoroughly cleaned on the inside so the guests do not ruin their wedding outfits! Hope you had a lovely weekend Naomi xx

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    1. I love it too and wanted one for mine but I didn't have enough people to ferry around to justify it!! xx

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  3. How lovely. I have not been to a wedding in quite awhile...last one was a shotgun wedding, which she really wasn't preggers, and was annulled. Ah, true love.

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    1. Oh, that love story sounds juicy! All the best soap operas are centered about love stories just before power no?

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  4. British weddings are so different from American ones. My thinking is that the amount of money spent is in inverse proportion to the lenght of the marriage.

    Best wedding ever was a hop the pond weekend where most of the men were Scottish.

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    1. I agree with that formula - in Asia some are now being superstitious so if they do spend loads of money they make a charitable donation in line not to jinx the wedding! Scottish weddings are great with the kilts too!

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  5. I got bored with going to weddings back in my 20s since I felt like I went to so many of them but they are certainly a treat now! I cry at them and I don't care who sees. I am Terribly Sentimental. It is not a good thing. I have only been to one Catholic wedding where there was an honest-to-God mass said! That was nice, since I was raised Catholic (I am a terrible heathen now). Loved this post, the stuff about the peace handshakes, the bell (ha!) and the Papal blessing are hilarious. Hope you wore some VCA pieces to give all the jewelry lovers there a little thrill. I guess we know what altar I pray at now...Oh dear. xx

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    1. Wedding season at its peak was tough - from June to September in one year i remember every other weekend was blocked with weddings! I love it now and perhaps it is with age - the sweetness and hope of it all? Jill I do altar offerings at the one you refer to as well ;P xx

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  6. Thanks for this post. Differences are all around us! As a GO ( Greek Orthodox & isn't the abbreviation inspiring!) I so get your hubby. Our kids are at the stage where they appreciate the very big differences in religious customs, and they frequently comment on it. What's not to love about walking around the block at 9pm on Good Friday night holding candles dressed in a suit or a good dress when you are a 12 year old boy or 14 year old girl. Plenty of opportunity to chat with friends, possibly burn some one's long hair and enjoy the nightlife. The midnight mass on Easter Saturday has more candles and fire for the kids, smashing of red eggs and then you go home and stuff yourself at midnight after not eating meat or dairy products for a week or so.
    We live in the Catholic capital of Sydney but our immediate neighbors are a smorgasbord of religions, Buddhists, atheists, Sikhs and RO ( Russian orthodox).
    As for cricket, when our kid first started playing cricket at 8 years of age, games are for 2 hours on Saturday morning at 8am and our cricket district has some ovals with beautiful views. I took our son to the games and there is nothing more glorious than sitting in the sun on a beautiful Sydney morning. There was a row of cricket dads and then I'd sit by myself. I couldn't believe how wonderful it was, especially when my sister would walk down to the oval with a great coffee. I rang my brother the first time I realized just how good it was, as he took my nephew to his games and he said "hehe, how good is it. You can chew the fat with others and it is for just long enough! Just don't tell too many women". That was one of my favorite summers. Den xx

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    1. Do you know that one of the main reasons why I couldn't have a conventional wedding is that plate smashing that Greeks like to do when they celebrate? I know it got banned in Greece but you get a bunch of Greeks in a celebration and alcohol and one is bound to hear a crash. In Asia, a broken dish or glass during a fortuitous occasion is just the worst omen. My mother kept going on about this tradition and in the end I was so stressed I had to elope. The cultural differences can be a bit tough for people either older or set in their ways. But I also didn't want a 3 hour Greek Orthodox wedding service to be honest Den! :) xx

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    2. I'd have eloped too if I had faced your dilemma. I didn't know about the worst omen in Asia. One of my cousins married a girl from Vietnam. No wonder they had a ceremony in the gardens. Thank goodness none of us brought our inner Greek bogan to the gardens and smashed plates. The poor bride and her family would have run away. You can still smash plates in Sydney venues.
      In Sydney, the wedding service and the baptisms are longer services if you get married in the 40 day period after Easter. Thankfully, a lot of services are now partially in English, and some churches are better at offering more English in the service than others.
      We are god parents to my best friend's daughters. They are C of E and when we were asked I was thrilled and went all GO on her and went out & bought gifts as godparents do in the GO church. My friend was overwhelmed. I just asked her to bear with me as this is what I knew from having 3 God children. Den xx

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    3. So funny Den! My in laws wanted the full on 500 people hotel ballroom wedding where I would get pinned with money on my dress. I feel bad not giving it to them on one hand but it really isn't me to have a big affair at all of any kind to be fair. There are deep ingrained things for some Asians so even if you were to explain that plate smashing is fun and actually scaring off the evil eye - it doesn't compute. I knew one girl who married a Jewish guy and the inlaws and them had a huge tense moment negotiating breaking the glass with their feet. I don't mind the differences because I grew up seeing arguments over stuff like this and I find it silly and I try to embrace the funny side of it all! x

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    4. All I'll say is your in laws must be related to my parents and my in laws. Xxx

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  7. Love the wedding snaps! I am C of E, but have been to a couple of Catholic weddings (in Melb, which has a much bigger Catholic population than here in more proddie Adelaide) including a full communion one. Only big difference I can remember between them was the Catholic ones had no hymns I think? But we did the whole Peace be with You thing at Sunday services (there is a reasonable amount of crossover between catholic and c of e) when I was a child and used to attend church more regularly than I do now... so maybe Mr CSW just never did a proper Sunday service? And the HP as well??
    Love the wedding dress, the morning suits, the bus and the flowers. Nothing better than a wedding, and know what you mean about not having enough now. At one stage for about 5 years we were attending 8-10 a year, now it's one if were lucky! None this year at all, which is a first for us since we were 24 years old. xx

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    1. He didn't indeed do Sundays bc he was at Greek church. But the others also said they don't shake hands. But then again Catholic church in England is slightly difference in prayers and songs. Nowhere else do they love the hymn -Jerusalem! I have yet to be at a C of E wedding where that wasn't sung hehe. Catholics do hymns but definitely different even according to country I have noticed. Last year we didn't have a wedding so it was actually really nice to attend. I do love an English wedding and the only gripe I have in general is there isn't enough food but plenty of alcohol! xx

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  8. Naomi,
    Once again you made me laugh out loud with your description of the Catholic portions of the wedding mass...especially the "peace be with you" part! I too was raised Catholic and my Uncle was a priest as well, so it was constant Catholicism in our house growing up (Catholic schooling with nuns even! grades 1 through 12). Anyways, my ex-husband didn't get the handshake of peace idea (he was Unitarian) and he got nervous when others around him began offering their hand! My brother, ever the comic alter boy, used to describe succinctly the Mass as "sit, stand, kneel, sit, kneel, stand, stand, kneel, shake..." It is a totally different experience now especially in the States where they are trying hard to make it more like a 4H-club meet and greet! Ah well, progress as they say..onward and sit, stand, kneel...:)
    -Susan

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    1. Weddings are wonderful. Agree about two people committing their lives to each other - so romantic! But then I'm a full catastrophe romantic/sentimentalist.
      These are beautiful pics. Gardens are lovely for weddings. Our son and DIL's wedding was in the gardens of Oz National Gallery on edge of the lake. Two Highland pipers led the way playing the bride and her attendants along path to celebrant's table at edge of the lake. All men in the bridegroom's party - and most of the others too - wore Highland dress. Our son wore G's wedding kilt and sporran. They all looked amazing. (G's father's family came from Scotland!)
      When it was time for drinks, the pipers led guests to the shores or a pond where a special sculpture was sending up fine billows of mist. Guests said it was like Brigadoon with the skirl of the bagpipes and people disappearing briefly as the light breeze changed direction. Such a great day! DIL told us afterwards it was the happiest day of her life.
      Agree with Heidi, a normal Anglican communion service does always include Peace greeting. Perhaps your hub only attended his Anglican school chapel services which may not have had Peace greeting. Perhaps they thought boys who tackle each other savagely in rugby and regularly have dorm scrums might not be amenable to shaking hands in chapel.
      Once in Hungary in the lovely old town of Gyor we stood at back of a beautiful Catholic church during a service. Was really touched when the old men in the back pews all walked up to us and shook our hands during the Peace greeting. Hardly anyone took communion though which was v different from an Anglican service in OZ or UK. I asked our Hungarian friend why that would be - he said probably because they hadn't been to Confession lately. Of course in Anglican church there is the General Confession which kind of absolves people of necessity of telling a priest one on one all the boringly bad things one might have done or thought during the week. Can you imagine! Hard for an old non-Catholic like me! Pammie xx

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    2. If there was a school near me with nuns I would have gone to it! But there was not that option so I just ahd sunday school instead. Yes my husband thought it was very kumbaya. I was an alter girl but I still never know when to stand or kneel. I am a lemming!

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    3. COnfession is cheap therapy Pammie except I tend to lie about the sins and realized this was not a fruitful exercise so I never went after I did my ceremonies to be confirmed as a teenager. It is so funny how even a drop of Scottish will bring the bagpipes out at a wedding! There is something so evocative about the bagpipes being played. SOunds like your DIL had the best day! xx

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  9. I'm into weddings again too. Kinda thinking I should have one within the next few years. So you can come to that. It'll be a lunch and I insist it be over by 5. I'm so sick of all night weddings. Mine will be in Maine at a lobster place with Chippendale chairs, seersucker bibs, and g&ts. I want the guests to wear navy or pink or some may wear emerald. I'll also make a Caesar salad. Still working out the lesser details like the other groom.
    Your friend's wedding looks gorgeous and I'm glad it was such a perfect day!

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    1. It is an all day affair here for sure and that is usually the abbreviated ones - some have weddings for days. Literally.

      I can not wait for your wedding!!! Sounds fabulous. Do you know that a cousin of my friend did one of those "Secret" visualisations and just booked a venue and said if she doesn't find a man she was just goign to have a party anyway? And guess what - she got married. But can you please make sure there is a LOT of ceasar salad. I do remember weddings by dresses and the food!

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  10. A lovely day all around. As you know, weddings are big in Asia, and every monument, temple or scenic place you go to is crowded with couples taking wedding photos. The stressful part of Asian weddings is figuring out how much to put in the Red Envelope. Although people say it doesn't matter, in reality it is finessed to an incredible degree.
    --Jim

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    1. It's just a really good English day out with unBritish emotional speeches! The wedding list also has its complications. In fact there were many articles here in the past few weeks about the rise of money envelopes and how bad it is but then how different is it to pick out an item on a list? Plus there is a limit on toasters and salad forks etc! Gifts are a huge challenge I agree with all its personal and cultural interpretations.

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  11. I can't tell you how many weddings I attended whilst living in London (there were that many!). I miss them terribly as people nowadays in casual California don't seem to make as big of a fuss as the London couples do. However, a first for me, is seeing the terrific transportation option provided by the happy couple featured in your post today - just brilliant! Now I want to attend a wedding in a London bus, hah!

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    1. I would love to attend a casual Californian wedding though - preferably on the beach! I do love those london buses and would love to get the party version where they have a bar on it and you just drive about town!

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  12. I love weddings as well, but I always think that British ones are more interesting as people dress up.
    it does look like it was a fabulous day... The bus is just great.

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    1. I think one or two weddings gives you enough energy to attend bc it can be like a marathon! Isn't the bus so fun? PS Congratulatiosn on your new British life!

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  13. I find the greeting "peace be with you" "and also with you" in church to be very moving. Such a simple gesture but for me very powerful.
    Yes, I am getting to the age of "second time around"...

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    1. I quite like it as well - it is the rare time when strangers will smile and wish each other well!

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  14. Oh I'm Catholic raised and it's always so funny at the CE weddings, we are the ones standing when all sitting or the other way round. Anyway, your friends' wedding looked perfection. Here's wishing them a happy life together.

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    1. Mine is mee laughing about singing Jerusalem and the green hills of England at every single wedding! Isn't it nice to be able to laugh about stuff like this rather than get offended :)

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  15. I love weddings! We very rarely go to one though. I do have some friends going through divorces just now though so maybe there's hope for a second time around for them... then there are the children of our friends, but folks seem to be waiting to get married or if they do they choose a "destination wedding" and the friends of the parents are left out.
    A papal blessing! My gosh they must be important. I was raised Catholic so that sounds very special to me... So funny too about exchanging the peace hehehe. XOX

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    1. Destination weddings cull a lot of people out of the loop but so many insist on them so a London local wedding was a treat. I don't know if you have to be that important to be honest to get a papal blessing - I won't go much further because i might get ex communicated but I think it helps to be Italian or know a Monsignor LOL :P xx

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    2. Why would anyone cut their parents friends from the list?! No doubt they'll bring the best gifts! I want a destination wedding but only as a preventative measure to stop me from obsessively planning/spending.

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    3. We went to a three day destination wedding some years ago. The daughter of one of my husband's old besties. She was an IT manager with lots of Indian friends so they'd decided on a three day wedding celebration a la Bollywood. The second evening all the under 40s or so wore amazing Indian silk saris, nose rings etc, the bride had hennaed hands, the men looked fabulous.The food was Indian and music too.
      The actual wedding the day before was in Cathedral Cave, Jenolan caves. We had to climb up rocks and stone steps, negotiate narrow winding passage ways in the bowels of the earth till it all opened up when we came to the majestic Cathedral cave where the ceremony was held. Acoustics beautiful. The bride wore gorgeous white Collette Dinnigan dress. When we emerged from caves it was freezing cold and sleeting. We all dived quickly for our cars and drove terrifying narrow twisty road up along steep cliffs in heavy fog up to old country farmhouse where reception was held. Inside it was warm and beautiful and full of good wedding cheer. At the end, by the time we ran again for our cars to drive to chalet style accommodation, it was through a snow storm. Final day was lunch at an old school grand hotel/spa. Despite weather, and even maybe because of it - sleet, cold, fog, blizzard - everyone had an 11/10 time. The couple now live in Tunbridge Wells!

      We have another destination wedding late next year - somewhere in an Australian vineyard in Victoria - the son of another of G's besties.

      Hope we're still around for our grand girls' weddings! Have told them I want to dance at their big days. They enjoy talking about weddings and what they think they'd like. Maybe that's not pc these days but they're v girly girls. Still I've also told them what my old Dad the feminist (really!) told me - work hard to make the most of your educational opportunities, aim for a good career so you can support yourself and your children and don't have to depend on your husband for a living. Pammie

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    4. Pammie, stories like you mention are why weddings stick in memories BC things are more pronounced and people remember details that normally most wouldn't notice and it's like a little trip! I hope you wear your best dancing outfits for your grandkids weddings!!

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    5. Stephen - I would pay good bloody money and tell Bravo to do a reality series about you planning a wedding to your supposed and for now figurative fresh off the boat Brasilian not very good English speaking hunk at a villa in Capri. How do you say - risers in Italian? ;)

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    6. riser action in Italian is - azione riser apparently hehe

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  16. A BEAUTIFUL DAY.........and I'm laughing at your husband saying what are YOU doing!THE BRIDE & GROOM look like a VERY HANDSOME COUPLE.I DO want to know how did YOU get HOME?THE BUS..........an important detail!!!MY GUESS IS TAXI!

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    1. They are such a great couple indeed. I went home via UBER! hehe

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  17. Wow, beautiful bride and church. love a good white wedding, nothing like that for bringing friends and couples together. Beautiful flowers around the entry

    it looks like Westminster Abbey inside, but can't be if its Catholic? I went to a christening there once and though the mother was very excited about being allowed to have a ceremony there it was very impersonal and tourists and other christenings going on the same time.

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    1. No it's def not Westminster Abbey! But still a lovely venue.

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  18. Sounds like a lovely day! Do you or your husband know the couple very well or is it a "must attend because of other reasons" kind of wedding? The amount of enjoyment I get from weddings depend on this factor! Although of course I wish every couple well! BTW, walking from one venue to another is a really wonderful way to spend the time in between events (but for the ladies . . . the shoes?)! Love your posts! Emily :-)

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    1. My feet did kill BC it was from 2 onwards! But I forgot to bring compressed...my husband is very good friends with the groom and went on the stag do :)

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  19. What a lovely day, what a lovely event. Changes and differences in culture are most pronounced at weddings, funerals a close second.

    After a long "wedding drought," my nephew got married. My sister's son. Bride's family planned everything, nephew was in fugue state and so only at the rehearsal dinner did I learn that I was supposed to do one of the main readings at the nuptial mass, a bit from the Song of Solomon (I think). It was very pretentious and sexist, I didn't think I could read it without breaking out in cackles and giggles. Himself suggested I declaim the passage in a funny accent. Like, say, Dracula. My cousins pushed for a sloshed brogue to honor absent friends. Well, I got through it in a mostly normal voice, which was a lucky thing, because the reading after mine was assigned to the bride's uncle, who had come all the way from Poland for the event. He missed the rehearsal dinner, so we learned for the first time in the middle of mass that he may have thought he could read aloud in English, but he was mistaken, I'm sure the poor man was terrified by the sight of the entire collection of groom's relatives staring at him bug-eyed with hands over mouths... Fortunately we were all raised by people who pinched or smacked those who dared to fidget or make noise during mass, but it was close.

    Where we really disgraced our side was at the bridal shower, where we showed up bearing gifts of dainty exquisite lingerie. In the bride's culture, the shower gifts are LARGE, as in china service for 12, every pot Le Creuset makes in bride's favorite color, major appliances - yes, a truck was waiting in the parking lot with men who paraded a washing machine past the guests. At the wedding - envelopes only. Marriage didn't last.

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    1. Oh sorry to hear it didn't last...you know I honestly think if I had done a huge event the way both sides wanted there would have been so much drama and interpreters needed as my Aussie and Korean side has its own differences as it is!!! At least the couple's parents both speak fluent English too. My husband did ask me if I felt bad BC we missed out on all those presents but how many toasters does one need?

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  20. What a fun wedding! There is something so celebratory about walking about in fancy dress. I love the bride's dress from the sneak peek. I've tried on just about every religion but bounce between C of E (my upbringing and education) and buddhism. My upcoming wedding is pure C of E but we have a very relaxed minister.

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    1. She had a classic dress with off shoulder straps that stayed put! I can't wait to see pics of your wedding Jen!

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  21. Being British the red bus is all too familiar. My daughter and her friends hired one for their prom taxi a few years ago. It was fab seeing those glamorous dresses and bow ties clinging to the pole as the bus lurched off.

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    1. I love double deckers and my friend has said they have a tour bus like this but with a catering service on them for hire too. If I had a load of friends from afair I might do this with them one day.

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  22. Love that Brits wear morning suits and hats to weddings. Makes it so fun and fancy. Americans tend to not dress up as much. I was raised Catholic so I am familiar with the Peace Be With You bit and all the usual mass bits. The last wedding I was at here was in summer on a ski slope and the minister was from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (seriously), and children were given pocket knives as favors...So you see what a dearth of culture I have to deal with here!

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    1. It does lend a nice air to the day. Pocket knives as favors? That's quite different...

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  23. I find British Weddings so charming and appealing. Italians often tend to over do when it comes to wedding ceremonies, maybe due to their catholic tradition, everything is so stressing for the guests, who have to reach distant country venues. Oh my gosh! Just think about old people having to put up with all that.... I loved your description of the hand shaking. When I go to Church, I shake hands with my husband because it's one of those thing you usually don't do in your everyday life. You've been arguing with him until two minutes ago and that becomes a frienly Exchange of a peaceful moment. Nonetheless, I am a little bit allergic to shaking hands with many people. During my studies, I used to go to a Church where all the assembly (those taking part at the mess) were obliged to take hands grasped to one another for at least a few minutes, while the priest recited a prayer. I find that kind of openess a little bit too much.

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    1. ha - too funny about the shaking hands with the husband> Indeed it is not usual. i can shake hands but not hold hands. I empathize completely!

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